


Not Worthless

by Mad_Hatter25



Category: Avengers
Genre: Bucky Is a Good Bro, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending tho, I’ll add more tags as the story progresses, Nat and tony are not dead, Natasha romanoff/reader are endgame, Set after Endgame, They Deserved BETTER Dammit, Tony gets a cool new arm since the stones killed his, Wanda Is A Good Bro, shit gets dark for a minute, the stones CAN and DID bring Nat back, they help you work through your shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:20:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 32,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25373776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mad_Hatter25/pseuds/Mad_Hatter25
Summary: The mission was supposed to be simple. All Steve, Natasha, and Wanda had to do was destroy one of the last Hydra bases, and gather as much info from their servers as they could. They never expected to be faced by you, a broken shell of an enhanced person who believed she had no purpose. Natasha, with the help of the rest of the avengers, shows you that you aren’t as worthless as you think.
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/reader(platonic), Wanda maximoff/reader(platonic), natasha Romanoff/reader
Comments: 33
Kudos: 190





	1. No Purpose

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don’t own the franchise or the characters, just the story
> 
> TW: descriptions of abuse and claustrophobia, read at your own risk

Worthless, purposeless, nothing. These were the main adjectives you’d been granted to describe yourself with for your entire life. You had grown up in the red room. When you turned 14, they deemed you not worth their time anymore, and handed you off to Hydra to be experimented on. From the time you were born, all you knew was pain. For ten years after the red room all you had to remind yourself that you were, in fact, alive were the painful experiments Hydra put you through. You were 24 years old, and you had only seen the sun five times in your entire life. The rest of it was nothing but darkness.

When you had been there for a year, and gone through your seventeenth consecutive “treatment”, as they liked to call it, they told you that it had finally worked. What is “it”? Well, since the trade-off with the red room, Hydra had tried relentlessly to give you powers, just to see if they could do it without using an infinity stone. They would concoct several different serums which you had no idea what they were, and then proceed to inject you with a sample of it. It was always painful, and it never worked. Until the seventeenth try, with that serum they had managed to give you an actual ability. It didn’t last for more than a day. But they kept trying. And after five long years, when you were 20, they managed to perfect it. 

They had been trying to replicate the super soldier serum, and once they had they wanted to make it stronger. And they had. They successfully gave it to you, and so you now had super strength, and super senses. Having also been trained by the red room, this combo made you the perfect soldier for them to use. For the next four years after you gained your powers, they had you trained relentlessly. If you failed or slipped up, they would take you to your cell, and whip you however long they felt like. The next day you went right back to training, never given any time to rest or heal or even eat. The most you ever got on a day to day basis was a stale slice of bread and a cup of water. 

After four years of this type of abuse, you hardly ever screamed any more, it just ended up making your throat hurt and that just added unnecessary injury. You knew nothing other than what they constantly told you during every beating. That you were worthless, that you had no purpose except to serve them, and that no one would ever care about a freak like you. You were nothing. That’s all you’d ever be.

This particular day was different. You don’t know why or how, but something just felt off to you. For one, you were still in your cell, when normally you’d be getting dragged to the metal gurney they used to “treat” you on. But you weren’t. Before you could dwell too much on it the door to your small, windowless cell slammed open and a Hydra soldier in tactical gear slung you upright by your arm and dragged you down several unfamiliar hallways until he took you to what looked like an armory. He grabbed your training suit from off the wall and threw it on the ground in front of you. 

“Get dressed, now. Hurry up.”

You didn’t ask, you were punished when you dared to ask questions, so you stayed silent and did as you were told. The suit was sleek, form-fitting, and all black with the Hydra insignia on the left shoulder. When you zipped it up all the way to the neck, the soldier gripped your arm again and dragged you outside. Before you could even let your eyes adjust to the sunlight you hadn’t seen in years, he shoved you forward and out of the door, slamming it shut behind him and leaving. You didn’t even know what he wanted you to do. That was, until you heard a loud droning in the sky. You looked up, and about 500 feet from the base was a jet. It was grey, and it was coming in fast. There were already a lot of the Hydra soldiers outside, lined up and firing at it. The jet fired back, and tore craters into the formations of soldiers until there were a little less than 50 men left out of the 200 that you’d seen when you first got out here. 

When the jet landed the remaining men left rushed it, hoping to head off whoever was inside. You hung back, waiting to see what would happen. When the cargo door to the jet opened the men immediately started firing into it. Their stupidity about wasting bullets was astonishing to you, if you had done something so idiotic as prematurely wasting all your ammo before identifying the target, you’d be beaten for days. Suddenly though, a red looking mist waved throughout their entire formation and their guns lifted into the air. Before any of the remaining men could even shout in surprise the guns all turned to each of their respective owners, and fired. Now you saw why they dragged you out here, whatever the threat was, they were enhanced like you.

You waited until the threat showed itself. And when it finally stepped into the light, you realized there was not one, but three people inside. Two women, one man. The man was dressed in red, white, and blue and had a shield with the same colors and a star in the middle.

The first woman was wearing black leather pants, with a black corset over a white shirt, and a red leather, form fitting jacket. She had long brunette hair and green eyes.

The second woman was wearing an all black body suit like yours, but with blue accents. She had shoulder-length red hair, and the most beautiful hazel eyes you had ever seen.(wait, beautiful? Where the hell did that come from? Focus!) 

They were only about 50 feet from you, and the red-head noticed you first. You drained all emotion out of your face and slipped the mask you had time to perfect over the years on. Slowly, you took a few cautious steps toward the small group. When the red-head saw you advance she nudged her teammates that were on either side of her and nodded in your direction. They all tensed upon noticing that one final Hydra agent was outside. You kept advancing, your alert eyes gaging what their reaction was going to be. They all took their own cautious advance toward you as well. You all stopped about ten feet from each other, and the man spoke.

“Who are you?”

You said nothing. He spoke again.

“I said, who are you?“ Again, you stayed silent. “ This doesn’t need to turn into a fight. We can talk.” He tried to reason. 

You only cocked your head to the side. You took a menacing step forward, and the red-head shifted her stance. You turned your eyes to her. The brunette flicked her wrist and the red mist from earlier danced around her fingers. They were smart, they could sense you weren’t going down without a fight. The man didn’t, and lowered his shield, trying to placate you by showing he wouldn’t hurt you. Idiot.

As soon as his shield was lowered you put every bit of super strength you had into your legs, jumping high and landing on top of him, catching him off guard as you were able to land a few swift punches to his jaw. The brunette used her magic and threw you off of him and towards the red-head, who spun and kicked you straight in the chest, knocking you on the ground for a split-second. You got right up as soon as the brunette’s magic left its hold on you to face the red-head. You threw the first series of punches, landing only the first hit as she blocked the rest. She was good, and as soon as she saw an opening, she landed her own hits, swift and practiced with a grace you had never seen before. You tried hard to block as many as you could but she was fast and about as quickly as you could block one hit she was already throwing another. You both faced off while the brunette helped the man up off the ground. Once he was up they both charged over to help their comrade. Before the man could fully reach you you used your strength to kick him hard in the chest, sending him several feet away from you. You turned back to the red-head and gave her a swift punch to her stomach that also sent her flying. With the man and the red-head both incapacitated, you turned back to face the brunette, who had stopped advancing on you as soon as she saw you send both of her teammates flying.

“Please, I really don’t want to do this.” She said in a thick accent you couldn’t place.

You kept moving towards her, not listening. Before you could get more than maybe ten steps to her, she let loose a wave of red mist, and suddenly you weren’t in front of the Hydra base anymore. Instead, you were chained to a wall, your front facing it. Your shirt was gone and you were left in nothing but your jeans. That’s when the pain started, the whip you had become so familiar with rained down onto your skin. Each new stripe you received setting every nerve in your body on fire until you could no longer feel anything.

Then the scene changed, and now you were strapped onto the metal table. You began to struggle, knowing what was coming next. A faceless man in a lab coat was walking toward you with a syringe. You struggled harder, feeling your wrists starting to cut open from the rough, leather restraints. He stuck the syringe in, and pressed down on the plunger. Immediately every single fiber of your being tensed and bucked against the unimaginable pain both freezing and boiling your blood at the same time. 

Before you got too swept up into the pain, the scene changed once more. You were almost relieved, until you saw where you were. This was your greatest fear, the main thing that made it so you never got restful sleep. This was your cell at Hydra. You hated it here. It was so small, and there was no light, save for one singular light bulb on the ceiling. The only thing you liked about this place was the door, because it gave you comfort knowing that there was, at least, a way out. But here, in the dark recesses of your mind, the door had been taken away. It was only you and the six slabs of suffocating concrete surrounding you. You couldn’t breathe, and you started frantically beating on the walls until your hands bled, painting your cell red. You slumped in a corner, exhausted and crying hysterically, as the walls then started to close in around you. Your already small cell getting even smaller. Your breathing became more erratic, and you tried to back away, your feet sliding uselessly against the ground, your hands pressing hard against the ceiling as it was starting to crush you. 

Finally, you shut your eyes tight, and screamed. A haunting, blood curdling scream that would put any horror movie victim to shame. Then your cell faded away, and you came back into the real world again, the witch’s hold on you gone. You lay there in the frigid snow, writhing on the ground and shaking from pure and utter fear, breathing hard like you’d just run a marathon. The thought that you would be in deep shit for failing had barely crossed your mind before your eyes rolled back into your skull, your body went slack, and you passed out.


	2. Unfamiliar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No TW for this chapter

When you woke, you realized one of two things. One, this white room was one you had never seen before. And two, you were on a very comfortable hospital bed, which you were also restrained to with leather cuffs around your wrists and ankles.

You couldn’t remember ever being brought back inside the base, or why they’d only now give you a comfortable bed to sleep on. The only bed you could ever remember having was a cold, stone floor. As you woke up a little bit more, you took in your surroundings. Instead of the usual stone and concrete you were used to seeing, these walls were normal plaster, painted white. Your bed was against the back wall, along with an IV stand and what you guessed was a heart monitor. Both were hooked up to you. So definitely not at the Hydra base then, they would have never given you this kind of care. Another thing you noticed was that your Hydra training uniform was gone, and in its place a blue hospital gown. In front of you there was a front wall made entirely of mirror, so you guessed this must be an interrogation room of a sort. On your far left was a door, with no handle. You briefly wondered how the hell the thing opened if there was no handle, but that question was quickly answered for you as it slid open, and revealed the red-head you had been fighting back at the base.

You realized you must be back at their base, wherever that was. You almost let yourself be relieved, but then remembered you had no idea who these people were or their intentions for you, and you tensed back up as she walked towards you. She pulled up a chair from beside the head of your bed and sat down facing you. She wasn’t too close, but that didn’t stop you from feeling completely vulnerable, strapped down and in nothing but a thin gown. She studied you for a moment, before speaking.

“Who are you?”

You only stared back at her. You didn’t trust her in the slightest, and you also didn’t know what she was planning on doing with you. 

“We aren’t going to do anything with you, we only want you to answer some questions, and then we’ll answer yours, if you have any, which I’m sure you must.”

It was like she’d read your mind and knew what you were thinking, even though you were sure the mask you had firmly implanted hadn’t moved an inch. She gave you a small smile, trying to show she was friendly.

“Okay, well if you won’t tell me your name, I’ll tell you mine. My name is Natasha Romanoff. I work with a group called the Avengers and recently we received intel that told us about a Hydra base located in the wilds of Siberia. Are you with me so far?”

You gave a slight nod, barely perceptible but she caught it, and continued.

“Our mission was only to get in and out with as much info we could gather and take down anyone in the way. What we did not expect was to find you, the only enhanced in the base. We also did not expect to find out that you were a former red room trainee.”

Your eyes went wide. How did they know about that? No one knew about that except the scientists at that base. It wasn’t even documented on any server. No one was ever supposed to know that you existed, much less find out you were from the red room.

“Having a telepath on our team really helps with finding out things we aren’t supposed to know.” She said with a small smirk. You only nodded again. She sighed.

“Look, I can’t keep telling you things and then get nothing in return. You gotta give me something.”

You looked down at the patterns on your gown and debated. She had clarified a lot of things up for you as to why you were here and who she was. But you were still scared, no, terrified. You had no idea where you would be after you told them anything they wanted to know. You knew as well as she did that to give her any information on yourself was going to take a huge amount of trust. And you had never trusted anyone in your entire life. She sighed again, and got up to leave, assuming you weren’t going to talk to her, and made your decision fast.

“(Y/N).” You said in a surprisingly strong voice, you hadn’t spoken in a while, as you were usually punished for speaking out of turn. She turned back to you with a smile, and sat back down.

“That’s a beautiful name. Thank you for telling me. Do you know why we brought you here?”

You cleared your throat, and answered, “No. Are you going to hurt me?” You looked down and flinched a little, expecting to be hit, as you were not supposed to ask questions, only do as you are told. She didn’t seem the type to do that, but it was all you had ever come to know. She smiled sympathetically at you.

“No, we aren’t like Hydra, or the red room. You won’t ever have to worry about that ever again.” She said. And you believed her.  
“You are here because of what our telepath saw in your head, that you are a prisoner, and also that you don’t want to be. We are going to take a chance on you, since you have skills that would be great to have on the team. So, are you interested?”

This was a lot for you to take in. You did, so desperately, want to not be a prisoner anymore. But you were still a little afraid, what if they were like Hydra, and they were just playing you? You would most definitely be taking a chance here, a HUGE chance. But there was a small voice in the back of your head that was telling you, pleading you to say yes. Natasha was waiting patiently on your answer, waiting on you to either work up your courage, or not. For the first time in your entire life you were being given a chance to make your own decision, and you didn’t quite know what to do about it. All you knew was that you were tired of not having a life to call your own, one that was lived by other people and never by you. So you gathered up every sliver of bravery you could possibly muster, and gave her your answer. 

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter down! Sorry it was so short but I wanted the next chapter to be where (Y/N) meets the whole team and gets settled in a little, so don’t worry there is more to come!


	3. Meet the Avengers

She gave a nod and a smile at your answer, standing from the chair to undo your bindings. As she worked on getting the leather cuffs undone, she started explaining things to you.

“Now, before I take you out to meet the entire team we need to do a full medical evaluation of your current condition. So for that I’ll take you to see our resident doctor, Bruce Banner, who is also an Avenger known as the hulk. Don’t worry, he’s a really nice guy, wouldn’t hurt anybody ever if he could help it. Except the bad guys of course.” She told you all of this with a kind smile as she undid the lady cuff and helped you off of the bed.

She motioned for you to follow her and started walking out of the door and into a long hallway. You followed her, and as you were walking you tried to memorize all of the turns you were taking. Left, right, right, straight, left. There were so many and you wondered how anybody ever found anything with how big this base seemed to be. Finally you came around a corner to find a glass door that slid open into another white room filled with all sorts of medical equipment. There were gurneys, a table full of tools sitting in one corner of the room, and some strange coffin looking thing with a glass lid. You wondered briefly what that did when Natasha saw you staring and answered for you, “That’s what we call ‘the cradle’. It repairs and creates skin tissues and cells.” 

As you marveled at this piece of technology, a large, green man with black, scruffy hair rounded the corner. The name ‘hulk’ suddenly made a lot of sense, he was huge.

“Hi Nat, I’m assuming this is the patient of the day?” He motioned to you.

“Yep. We need a med eval on her, can you handle that, Bruce?” She teased.

The man, Bruce, gave her a look, and Natasha smirked at him. Then she bumped your shoulder. Your entire body tensed at the contact, your fight or flight reflexes kicking in at being touched. 

“Alright, go on and sit on that bed over there and let him look you over. It’s alright, he won’t hurt you.” She said.

Bruce nodded as if to confirm that, and you relaxed just the tiniest bit and moved to do as you were told. 

He started off simple, checking your pulse, blood pressure, pulse ox, and blood sugar. When he was done, he went to write everything down. When he came back he looked at you sympathetically.

“This next part might be uncomfortable for you. But I need to do an injury assessment so that I can monitor future progress. You’ll need to take the gown off for this part.” 

You took a deep breath in, and shut your eyes as you let it back out shakily. Natasha came over to your side and placed her hand ever so gently on your arm, as if she was trying not to scare you. You looked up at her, and took brief comfort in her warm gaze. 

“I know how hard this is for you, trust me, I do. But everything that happens in this room will stay here unless you decide otherwise, okay?” 

You knew what she was saying, that this needed to be done, but it was entirely up to you whether or not you wanted to tell the team. She was giving you a voice, and she was letting you choose whether or not you wanted to use it. 

“Okay.” You said.

You lifted the gown carefully over your head, and set it beside you. You were only in your bra and underwear now, and you shivered at the exposure. He worked quickly, but when he got to your back, he faltered for a short moment. You knew what he was looking at, of course you did. You lived with it everyday. You knew that he was looking at layer upon layer of scar tissue. At lash marks criss-crossing the expansion of your entire back. At still freshly scabbed wounds colored an angry red because they were allowed to fester. You hated that part of you. The vulnerable part. The ugly part. You wished the ground would open its gaping maw and swallow you whole.

But what really surprised you next was the hand that started squeezing your own. Not suffocating, but comforting. You looked up at the owner of said hand and met deep pools of green staring back at you. She wasn’t looking at you in disgust or pity. She was just, looking at you. You couldn’t quite read the look, but you knew that it wasn’t anything bad, so you took comfort in it, and squeezed her hand back as Bruce finished looking you over. He went away to write everything down and came back to tell you his findings.

“The results aren’t shocking, considering where you were living. Your pulse and your pulse ox are normal, but your blood sugar and your iron are incredibly low, suggesting malnutrition. Definitely eat something as soon as possible, high in protein and vitamins preferably. Your blood pressure was pretty high, but that might just be due to the fact that you’re feeling afraid at being somewhere unfamiliar. Once you settle in and have a chance to relax, it should balance that out.”

He looked to you to see if you were still following, and you nodded for him to continue.

“Next are your injuries, light bruising and scratches throughout your body. Those should all heal in a matter of days, so nothing really to worry about there.”

He paused for a beat, and you knew what was coming next.

“Now, your more extensive injuries include large lash wounds over your entire back. These are more worrisome because they look to be infected. There is a quick solution to that though, if you wouldn’t mind a quick antibiotic shot to each site that way it can kill the infection quickly and painlessly.”

You didn’t like the idea of needles sticking into you. You got enough of that when you were being experimented on. But on the other hand you were in pain, and you didn’t want that pain to be there anymore. It reminded you of everything you’d gone through to get here, and you were tired of thinking about it. Natasha squeezed your hand again, reminding you that she was still there, and that this was all your decision. You didn’t have to do anything if you didn’t want to.

You deliberated a little bit, and decided that you wanted to heal as quickly as possible. You nodded to Bruce, and he went in the other room. Presumably to get what he needed to give you the shots with. When he came back, he got to work as quickly as possible. Not wanting you to endure this longer than you had to. When he was done he came back to stand in front of you. He took his gloves off and threw them in the trash. You briefly wondered where he found gloves his size.

“Alright, that’s done. I’d like it if you could come back in a week or so so I can check to make sure those are healing properly, okay?”

You nodded. 

“Good, then you’re done for right now. Don’t forget to eat something as soon as possible please. Nat could you help her remember that? You also might wanna get her some new clothes, there should be some in that drawer by her bed that should fit nicely.”

She nodded, “Yep, also Wanda’s cooking tonight, so it shouldn’t be hard to get her to eat once she smells it.” She said with a smile down at you as she grabbed the clothes and gave them to you. There was a simple white shirt and black skinny jeans with a pair of socks.

“Good, thank you. Oh and (Y/N), was it?”

You nodded as you got dressed.

“It was nice to meet you.” He said with a warm smile.

When that was over with Natasha led you down more halls that you tried and failed again to memorize until you came up to an elevator. When you both stepped inside, she looked up to the ceiling and said, “FRIDAY, take us up to the rest of the team please.”

“Yes, Miss Romanoff.”

A disembodied voice replied back suddenly and you jumped. Natasha chuckled at your reaction as the elevator started going up.

“That’s FRIDAY, she’s an AI that basically runs the whole building. Ask her anything and she’ll get you what you need. I’m going to go ahead and introduce you, so she’ll recognize you for later. FRIDAY?”

“Yes, miss Romanoff?”

“This is (Y/N), I need you to add her voice to your index.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Natasha nudged you, “Say your name and hello to her.”

“Um, hi FRIDAY. My name is (Y/N)(L/N).”

The AI answered back, “Hello, miss (L/N). A pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

This was going to take some getting used to, but you supposed that it would be useful in case you ever got lost.

In no more time at all the elevator opened up to a room that was more cozy than anything you’d ever seen before. To your right was a kitchen with the brunette girl from your fight. She was cooking something that smelled absolutely divine and your mouth watered. You guessed she was the girl named Wanda that Natasha had mentioned earlier. To your left was a big dining table with ten or so seats around it. Two men, one with shoulder-length black hair and a metal arm, and the other you recognized as the guy you fought at Hydra, were sitting at the table talking and laughing. The other four were playing at a pool table and placing bets. Natasha cleared her throat, and everybody turned. 

“Team, this is (Y/N). I want you all to be on your best behavior as she gets settled in here. That means you, Stark.” She looked pointedly at a man with short, black hair and a mechanical prosthetic arm colored with red and gold.

The man gasped mockingly, with a hand against his chest, “You wound me, Romanoff.”

She rolled her eyes at him and nudged you gently forward.

“You wanna say hi?” She asked. 

You backed up behind her a little bit, overwhelmed by all of the new people. She took your hand again and pulled you along with her loosely, letting you know that you could pull away at any time if you wanted to, to introduce you to everybody. She took you first to a man that was leaning on his pool cue, and introduced him as Clint Barton. He stuck his hand out for you to shake.

You took his hand in greeting and shook, and he leaned in to whisper,

“Don’t be scared about all the insane people, you’ll get used to it.” He winked.

“I don’t who the hell you think you’re calling insane Clint, you’re the one who crawls around in vents!” A man came up behind Clint and clapped him on the back good naturedly. He nodded his head at you and gave a little wave in greeting.

“Name’s Sam Wilson. Don’t listen to a thing this idiot says, he’s crazy.”

“Alright, back up birdbrains the important people are coming through.” The man with the red and gold arm came around from the other side of the pool table. “My name is Tony Stark, other titles include genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, take your pick.” He said all this with a self-assured smile and a hand out for you to shake. You took it and then looked to the last guy at the pool table who hadn’t introduced himself yet.

“Oh yeah, my name is Anthony Rhodes, but everyone here calls me Rhodes or Rhodey. Also I don’t affiliate with any of those people you just met.” 

The guys all started throwing teasing insults back and forth at each other as Natasha rolled her eyes again and led you over to the kitchen to meet Wanda. 

“Oh my God, Wanda that smells amazing.”

The brunette chuckled and turned away from the stove to meet her.

“Yes, and it will be done in a few minutes, so go sit.”

Natasha held up her hands and made a show of backing away from the food, leaving you with the witch who’d made you relive your worst nightmares and then amplified them. She looked at you as if she knew exactly what you were thinking, and you supposed she did. She could read minds, after all.

“I’m sorry I had to do that, but at the time it was the only way to stop you. I swear on my life that I will never repeat a word of what I saw, and if you ever needed to talk about it, I’ll be there.”

You could tell she meant it, and you suppose you couldn’t really fault her for what she did, you were hurting her friends. She did what she had to do to get you to stop. You nodded at her.

“I forgive you.” You said in a small voice, she heard it though, and smiled at you. You went to sit at the table next to Natasha, and met the only person you hadn’t met yet. He introduced himself as Bucky Barnes, and told you the same thing Wanda had, that if you ever needed to talk, he would be there. The other man, Steve, apologized for the big fight and said he was glad to have you on the team. You said the same back. 

In the next few minutes, all of the Avengers were sitting around the table and talking and eating. They included you in a lot of their banter, and asked you a lot of questions about yourself that you had some trouble answering. Natasha saved you from that part though. Even if initially you felt discomfort at all of the new people, you started to gain a different feeling as the night went on and you ate more and better than you ever had in your entire life. This feeling wasn’t bad though. It felt safe, and it felt like home.


	4. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Graphic nightmare

When dinner was done and everybody had cleared their plates, the team said a few quick good nights to you and headed off to each of their respective rooms. You said your own quiet goodbyes back, and after everyone but you and Natasha had left, you just sat there. You didn’t know what to do now. The day was over so one would assume you’d go to bed, but you didn’t have a bedroom. Would you be going back to the room you first woke up in? Would you sleep in the med bay? Would you have to find a couch? Before you could worry too much on your sleeping situation for the night, Natasha came back from putting up her plate.

“Alright, come on. Let’s show you to your room.” 

She held out a hand for you to take, and pulled you up gently to lead you back into the elevator. She looked up and asked,

“FRIDAY, would you take us up to the living quarters?”

The AI answered back an affirmative, and the elevator started moving up. Natasha looked to you and smirked.

“When Tony refurnished the tower after our compound was destroyed, he put the living quarters on the second to top floor, so we’d all get a nice view. You wanna know what he uses the top floor for?”

You nodded.

“For parties, can you believe it? An entire floor of the tower dedicated for when he throws his extravagant parties. Typical Stark.” She shook her head with a short huff of laughter, and for a moment you thought about how pretty her smile was. You caught yourself before you allowed that thought to go any further though, cursing yourself at how stupid it was.

The elevator stopped and opened up into a large living area, complete with a large flatscreen TV, and couches set up in a U-shape around it. To your right was a wide, long hallway with doors spread about twenty feet away from each other. Natasha led you down this hallway, and stopped from the third door down on the left side.

“Your room is right next to mine, on your right. Wanda is right across from you, and Bucky is two doors down on your left. Sam, Steve, and Rhodey are all at the end of the hall across from each other, and the rest have their own homes that they go back to. They’re rarely ever here, but today was special.”

“Why?”

She smiled at you, “They wanted to meet you.”

You couldn’t believe that, you weren’t that special. Why would anybody want to meet you?

“I’m not special.”

You couldn’t help voicing your thoughts, albeit in the smallest voice you could muster. Natasha still heard you, even though the sound that came from you was barely a whisper.

“Hey, I know that they said things to you, things that made you feel less than what you are. But they were wrong, you are more than you seem, more than you feel, and we’ll help you see that. No matter how long it takes, okay?”

You tried hard to keep from crying as you nodded. No one had ever said anything that kind to you in your life.

“Good, now let’s get you to bed. Your room is pretty bare right now, but Wanda can take you shopping for some stuff later. She loves doing that.”

With that she opened the door to your room and you walked in. She was right, there wasn’t much in the room. There was a huge king-sized bed in the middle of it though, and you almost ran to it. It looked like the most comfortable thing to sleep in, and you couldn’t wait to test it out.

“Well, goodnight. I’ll see you in the morning for breakfast, alright?”

You turned back to face her, “Okay, goodnight Natasha. And... thank you.”

She just smiled, and closed your door for you as you went straight for your new bed and flopped down onto it. You buried yourself in the huge, fluffy comforter. Though the happy feeling wasn’t to last, because even the comfort of a warm bed couldn’t chase away the nightmare that was coming for you.

You woke in a dark room, chained to the wall, your shirt was gone and all you could see was the menacing shadow looming over you. He was faceless, and seemed to be made completely out of darkness. What was in his hand was even more frightening. It was a whip, with long, rusted nails weaved into it.

“Worthless.” The shadow spoke to you, and then raised the whip, and brought it down harshly over your front. Your scream reverberated throughout the entire room. You felt it rip into your face, your chest, your very soul. The pain blinding.

“Useless.” The shadow spoke again, raining another blow, this one hurting worse than the last, though you weren’t sure how that was possible.

“Monster.” Another lash.

“Weak.” Another.

“Nothing.” Another. 

On and on it went, the shadow would spew an insult and give you a lash to go with it, each one seeming to hurt worse than the last. You couldn’t stand it, couldn’t take anymore, your throat raw and bleeding from your screams.

Suddenly, a red mist clouded your vision, and before you knew it, you were sitting bolt upright in your bed. You were gasping for air, sweating bullets, and crying. You didn’t notice you were being held until you had calmed down enough to lift your head. Your eyes searched through the dark, until they adjusted enough to see that it was Wanda who was sitting next to you, holding you close while moving your sweaty hair from your forehead. When she saw that you were starting to calm down, she spoke to you.

“You were having a nightmare, I could hear your thoughts from my room. I brought you out of it before it got any worse, are you alright?”

“Did I wake you up?” You breezed by the question, horrified at yourself for possibly disturbing her from her sleep.

“Yes, but it doesn’t matter, you didn’t bother me. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you?”

“Yes, thank you.” You tried to sound convincing, but even you didn’t believe yourself what with the shaky tone you answered with.

“Liar.” She said with her eyes narrowed playfully. “I’ll stay with you tonight, if you’d like. I know when I first got here, after my brother died, I didn’t like sleeping alone. It always helped to sleep with someone else.”

“Your brother died?”

She got a somber look to her face, before she answered, “Yes. Long time ago, but it still hurts sometimes.”

You nodded, not asking anymore, sensing she didn’t want to talk about that now.

“So is that a yes or a no on me staying with you for tonight?”

You thought on it, and decided that if she was offering, then it probably wasn’t going to bother her much. But you still doubted yourself, you really didn’t want to bug her just because you had a nightmare. You weren’t a child, you should be able to go to sleep by yourself.

“Hey, you won’t be bothering me. And you aren’t a child because you have bad dreams. You went through a trauma, anyone would have nightmares after what you’d gone through, don’t beat yourself up. It’s okay to take help.” 

You started a little at the fact that she had read your mind again, and she explained.

“I don’t usually go rifling through people’s minds, it’s an invasion of privacy. But your thoughts are particularly loud, so it is a little harder to keep them out. Now I’ll ask again, do you want me to stay with you tonight?”

A few tears slipped out of your eyes, and you nodded. She wiped your tears away, much like you think a sister probably would, and got into the bed with you. She pulled you into her side, and started humming a tune you didn’t know. Before you knew it, you were right back to sleep. Your dreams pleasantly uninterrupted this time.


	5. Getting It Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: graphic description of torture

When you woke up that morning, you felt better than you ever had your entire life. Finally you had gotten some real sleep, and not the nightmare-ridden exhaustion you had been used to. For the first time, you had only woken up once during the night, and slept through the rest. You definitely had Wanda to thank for helping you through it, and you wanted to thank her personally. It meant so much to you to finally have people that really cared for you. 

You looked around, but Wanda wasn’t in your room anymore. You assume she probably left to go get breakfast or something. But there was that still small voice inside of you that told you that you had probably just scared her off, and that’s why she left. Probably as soon as you fell asleep she got out of there as quick as she could. You couldn’t blame her, you were a freak.

“No.” You said to yourself. You wouldn’t let what Hydra told you ruin you anymore. At least not right now, you needed to find Natasha. She said she was going to help you today. 

You got out of bed and headed to her room, knocking lightly on her door. You heard footsteps, and then the turning of the knob as the door opened and revealed her form. She was dressed in black leggings that clung to her curves, a tank top, and running shoes. She was sweating lightly, and when she saw you she smiled.

“Well good morning, sleepyhead. I came to check on you at six a.m. but you were asleep still. I figured you probably needed it so I went for a run.” She explained. 

“You came to check on me?”

“Well yes, I do care for your wellbeing.” She joked with you. You gave a small chuckle, and blushed a little at the fact she said she cared about you. ‘Stop it.’ You cursed yourself mentally, this was no time to develope a cr- No. That’s not what this was. You weren’t a child, and that was what you had been taught that love was for. Children. Which you were not.

“Okay, well I’m going to freshen up before breakfast and I suggest you do the same. I know it always helps me feel better.” She said.

“I’m fine.”

“Uh huh. That why you still have bedhead?”

You blushed again and looked down. You knew that she was joking with you, but you still felt a little embarrassed at showing up at her door looking less than presentable in the clothes you had been wearing last night. She smirked at your blush.

“That’s what I thought. Now, go. Shower, shave, brush your teeth, do whatever you need to do and I’ll be waiting in my room whenever you get done. I also left some clothes for you in your closet. They’re mine, but they should fit you just fine until Wanda and I take you out shopping later today.”

You nodded and thanked her, then left to go see what the bathroom in your room had to offer. It had the most simple amenities since nothing had really been made ‘yours’ yet. There were bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hand soap, a can of shaving cream, and a tube of toothpaste. There was a toothbrush, a razor, some loofas in the shower, and a hand towel on a rack by the sink. In a small bath closet there were towels, hand towels, and wash rags all stacked neatly in their respective groups.

The bathroom itself was gorgeous. A full length mirror over a granite counter top, a sink with crystal knobs, polished white tile floors, and the bath... oh the bath was the best part. It had sliding, frosted glass doors, and inside it had both a tub and a shower head. The tub had jacuzzi jets, and the shower had four settings. There were tiny pictures next to each setting to show you what each one did. There was a normal setting, a jet setting, a massage setting, and a mist setting.

You honestly couldn’t wait to try it out and you hadn’t even stepped foot on the tile floor of the bathroom yet.

When you finally did go in you turned to your right towards the mirror, and immediately wished you hadn’t. What you saw couldn’t even really be described as a person, more like a husk. Something that once held something good but doesn’t hold anything anymore. Your eyes were gray and lifeless, your hair greasy and thin. Your face was hollow and sunken, and your lips were dry and cracked. You looked like a literal horror, and you almost didn’t want to see what was under the clothes. But you had to know, this sunken, hollowed out human being was you, and you needed to know what YOU even looked like. So slowly, and gently, you peeled your clothes off, to reveal the sad excuse of yourself. You were basically a skeleton with skin. There was almost no meat on your bones due to the years of abuse and starvation Hydra put you through. There were a couple of bruises and scratches littered throughout your body from when Hydra soldiers would hit you too hard during training. You turned around, almost too scared to see, but you needed to know the extent of the damage Hydra had done. When you had turned enough that you could see, a few salty and bitter tears slipped from your eyes. There was nothing but scars. Raised, pink, and criss-crossing your entire back from all of the whippings Hydra had given you. Not to mention the wounds that were still healing. They were big, and ugly, and red.

The more you looked at them the less sad and horrified you were, and instead the more angry you got. Throughout your inspection of yourself you kept noticing a name popping up in your train of thought. Hydra. Hydra were the ones that did this to you, that turned you into this shell. They had abused you, and starved you, and tortured you for years. Stripping away anything good about yourself and replacing it with this broken husk. You were livid at what they had done. And somehow by seeing the exact results, you now knew that nothing they had done was right. That nothing they said or did to you was right. They had tried to break you, and succeeded, and you were hot with anger and hatred for them. 

“No more. Never again.”

With these words that you willed to be truer than anything you had ever spoken before, you decided that you were done. Done with being scared, done with hating yourself, and done with their lies. You knew that you had a long way to go from here if you were to truly heal, but this was a good start. With that you turned away from your reflection, and started your long journey to healing by taking a shower. Washing away all of the dirt, the grime, the shame, and the lies. You scrubbed your skin until it was pink and raw, lathering and rinsing over and over again. Until you were sure it was gone and you were finally clean. Then you washed your hair, scrubbing it through thoroughly with shampoo and conditioner three times. Until you felt that it was clean enough. When you got out of the shower you brushed out your hair and dried it with the dryer that was in one of the drawers. Then you brushed your teeth twice, and scrubbed your hands vigorously with the soap you had been provided. Through all this you allowed your body to drip dry, not bothering with a towel until you had to walk to your closet to grab the clothes that Natasha had gifted you temporarily. There was a white, long-sleeved cotton shirt, and some simple dark grey leggings. There were also some white heel socks and tennis shoes of the same color. Everything fit about as well as you expected, which was pretty good. 

When you were done, you went back to Natasha’s room and knocked on her door again, more confident than last time. When she opened the door she was wearing a black t-shirt with a fitted leather jacket, and a pair of dark jeans with black shoes. She smiled when she saw you, and asked, “You ready for today?”

“Yeah, I am.” You answered, this time with a smile that was felt real, that felt good, that felt healed.


	6. Breakfast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: reader tells the team what Hydra did to her.
> 
> I know this is a ton of angst still but I’m planning on it being nothing but healing with minimal angst from now on, hold out please I promise there is some fluff coming for our reader!

When you made it back down to the kitchen area of the tower, you saw most of the Avengers already up, albeit some of them bleary eyed from waking up so early. Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Rhodey were all at the table talking and bickering. Wanda was by the stove flipping pancakes, and you assume that that was probably why she hadn’t been in your room when you woke up. There were already two full stacks of pancakes piled on a platter, and there looked to be at least twenty already made. Each one a lovely golden brown and filling the room with the best smell. You could see a still full bowl of batter next to Wanda and wondered how much more she would make before she’d be done. 

While Natasha went ahead and sat at the table with the guys, you went over to lean against the kitchen island, resting your elbows on the surface. You really wanted to thank Wanda for helping you sleep, but you didn’t really know how to best approach it. You decided that jumping right in would be your tactic, since you couldn’t really think of a better way to do it at the moment.

“Thank you, by the way, for last night. You weren’t there this morning, so I thought I’d tell you now.”

She looked back at you from her pancake flipping for a moment, a soft smile on her face, and replied.

“You don’t need to thank me, but you are welcome anyway.”

Then she put the pancake she’d just finished on the stack next to her, and turned to face you fully.

“Did you want to talk about it?” She asked.

“Honestly, no. I want to forget about it, about them. If I talk more about it, I’ll just get scared again, and I am so done with being scared.”

She nodded, “I can understand that. But if you need to, you can talk about it, don’t bottle it up okay? We’re all here for you, you’re not alone anymore, sestra.”

She looked surprised for a brief moment at letting what sounded like a term of endearment slip out, even though you had no idea what it meant, so you asked.

“What does that mean?”

“Um, it means ‘sister’. I’m sorry, it just slipped. I did not intend to make you uncomfortable.” She replied, looking down at herself.

“Don’t worry about it, I like it. I just didn’t know that we’d grown that close, I’m glad though.” You reassured her with a smile.

She looked back up at you, and saw that you weren’t kidding with her. Then her own smile grew on her face.

“Good, I didn’t know either. But I like it too, you’re growing on me.” She said, then she leaned over and ruffled your hair. You batted her hand away and fixed your hair back, but her smile only grew.

“Go on and sit, the rest of the pancakes will be done in a minute.” She told you. 

You went to do as she said, and sat next to Natasha again. When Sam saw you, he asked, “So (Y/N), do you like pancakes?”

It was sudden, and kind of random, but you answered anyway.

“I don’t know, I’ve never had them before.”

He looked almost liked he’d been physically assaulted. And you couldn’t hold in a slight giggle at the look he was giving you.

“That is a damn tragedy. No, a crime. I knew Hydra were cruel, but shit.”

Natasha kicked him under the table and gave him an incredulous look.

“What?”

She kept giving him the same look, and then he seemed to realize that he’d mentioned Hydra to a former victim of Hydra. A look of horror spread on his face, and before he could say anything, you shook your head.

“It’s fine.”

Steve looked a little nervous, but asked you, “Is it okay if you tell us... what exactly did they do to you? I’m sorry if that’s insensirive, you don’t have to answer.”

“No, it’s okay. If I’m going to be living here for the time being I suppose it’d be best to get it all on the table now.”

Wanda had made her way over to the table and sat down on your other side, squeezing your hand comfortingly. You squeezed back and started to recount your less than desirable life.

“Well, I was raised in the red room until I was 14 years old. At that time they had deemed me no longer worth their time and dumped me with Hydra. I was perfect for their experiments because according to the red room, I didn’t exist. There were no files on me, no digital data, not even a birth certificate. All I had was the name they’d given me. So that made me expendable. I had already been taught that I had no purpose or place in the world, only the orders I was given mattered. Hydra took full advantage of this. And for the next few years until I turned 20 they tried countless experiments on me. It finally worked and they had managed to give me superpowers, including strength and heightened senses. For the next four years they began training me to use these powers relentlessly. If I slipped up even a little, I was tortured for hours, sometimes days on end. When they got tired of doing that, they threw me right back into the thick of training. Never giving me any time to rest or heal. I had to learn quickly to either keep up, or die. I rarely ate, rarely slept. I was never allowed much of either of those things. When I was fed it was just enough to keep me barely alive. At most on a daily I could expect no better than a slice of stale, sometimes moldy bread, and maybe a glass of water if they remembered. But mostly it was just constant training until I got so exhausted that I would pass out. When they would try to teach me new fighting styles, they never taught me how to do it, they would just beat me until I figured it out. It was horrible, but also strangely normal because that was all I’d known. Sometimes I would think, ‘this is it. Today is the day this will finally kill me.’ And it’s sad, but that brought me comfort. Until a couple days ago, that is. And now, I’ll be honest, I don’t know who I really am. But for once I actually want to live to figure that out. And I have you all to thank for it, so with all of my soul I can give you, thank you.” 

You finished your spill, the tears having been flowing freely for some time now. It felt like a 24 year long weight had finally been lifted off of your chest, and you could actually breathe for the first time in your life. You had finally unloaded all of your baggage, and torn out your broken and bleeding heart for them to see. You weren’t ashamed in the slightest though. In fact, now that you had gotten it all out, the only thing you could feel was immense relief. It filled the cracks in your soul, and bandaged the wounds on your heart and mind. Then your tears really started falling, the relief overwhelming you. You were practically sniveling in front of the team, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. You laid your head down on Natasha’s shoulder, and she wrapped her arms around you as Wanda squeezed your hand even tighter than before.

They all waited patiently for you to finish. They knew that you needed this, and they would wait as long as it took to give you the release you needed so desperately.

When your sobs turned to whimpers, then to sniffles, then just heavy breathing, they still waited. When you had finally calmed down enough, you lifted your head from Nat’s shoulder, and she gently released you from her tight hold. She gave you a comforting smile, and you wiped your eyes of your tears. After a long moment of silence, Sam spoke up.

“Well that was a lot. How do you feel?”

You wiped your eyes again, and responded, “I feel a lot better. Thank you for sitting through all of... that.”

“You know what would make me feel better right now?” Sam asked.

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

Then he grinned hugely at you and said, “Pancakes. Wanda, how ‘bout it?” You laughed at his way of breaking the tension, and the rest of the team chuckled disbelievingly with you. 

Wanda shook her head, and got up to bring the large platter full of at least thirty pancakes over to the table. 

“Hey, what about plates?” He asked.

“I cooked you food, you can get your own plate.” She responded back snarkily.

He huffed, but stood to go grab himself a plate and utensils. The rest followed after, and stacked their plates with pancakes, digging in immediately. You dug in too, and moaned at the taste of butter and syrup mixing with the fluffiness of the pancake. Steve looked over at you with a teasing glint in his eyes.

“So how’s your first pancake, (Y/N)?”

“Life changing.” You groaned back, digging back in for another bite. The team chuckled at you, and Wanda shook her head with a smile. You couldn’t have cared less, you were too busy enjoying your new favorite food.


	7. Shopping Trip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Absolutely nothing but a fluff filled shopping spree! Reader is decorating her room today!
> 
> (f/c)= favorite color  
> (f/s)= favorite scent

When you had finished your fifth pancake that had been drowned in butter and syrup, you leaned back from your empty plate and sighed happily. You had never had anything so good in your entire life. The food settled comfortably at the bottom of your stomach and left you feeling almost warm. You reveled in the feeling of being pleasantly full for a moment before Natasha tapped your shoulder.

“You finished now?” She asked, having eaten only two pancakes she’d been done with her breakfast for a while and had patiently waited on you to be done also. 

“Yes. Are we going on that shopping trip you told me about soon?”

“Yup, as long as you’re ready to go. Wanda are you ready?”

She looked up from her phone she’d been playing on. “Hm? Oh, yes. Did you call Tony about the mall we’re going to?”

“Yeah, I did that before my run this morning.”

You were so confused. “What did Tony need to do now?”

Natasha answered, “Since the Avengers tend to attract a lot of fans and paparazzi, Tony will sometimes buy out an entire place when he goes out. So, I asked him to do the same for us, we’re only planning on being there for a little over three hours, which should be plenty of time to buy all the things you want to decorate your room and wardrobe.”

“Ohh.” You nodded your head in understanding.

“Alright, less talking more shopping. Let’s go! We’re losing precious daylight!” Wanda exclaimed, standing from her chair and moving your plates to the sink. Then she rushed back over as you and Natasha had just barely gotten out of your seats and dragged you both over to the elevator.

Once inside she asked FRIDAY to take you down to the garage. Throughout the whole elevator ride Wanda was bouncing up and down like a little kid on Christmas, clearly excited about the day ahead. 

Natasha leaned over to you and whispered in your ear, “I told you she loves shopping trips.” She chuckled, her breath tickling your ear. You shivered slightly, and wondered why you had reacted like that.

“Hey, you know I can hear you. And hush, I know you like them too, Nat. No matter how tough you pretend to be.” Wanda snarked at her. Nat rolled her eyes.

The elevator slowed to a stop, and the three of you stepped out into a garage with ten cars lining each side. There were sporty cars in different colors on one side, and black SUV’s on the other. On the back wall were motorcycles lined up neatly in a row. Wanda walked over to one of the SUV’s, clicked a car key she pulled out of her pocket, and climbed into the front seat. Natasha walked ahead of you and pulled open the passenger side door, allowing you to sit in the front while she sat in the backseat behind you.

Wanda peeled out of the garage, and into the city in the direction you assumed the mall you were going to was in. 

It only took you a few minutes to get there, the traffic surprisingly light for New York. When you pulled up to the large shopping mall, Wanda parked the car in front of one of the stores. You all got out, closed your doors, then walked up to the entrance, Wanda locking the car behind you all. When you went in, you saw that the store she had pulled up to was a clothing store.

“First things first, you need a wardrobe to work with.” Wanda stated. 

“But I don’t even know what size I wear.”

“That’s why we try the clothes on.” Natasha smirked, walking with you guys through the aisles.

“You can try clothes on in the store?” You asked, baffled at the concept.

“I forget how much you don’t know. But yes, there are dressing rooms in the back where you can take clothes you like and try them on to see if they fit well.”

You nodded in understanding, sifting through a rack filled with women’s jeans. 

“Which ones would you like to try on first?”  
Wanda asked, coming up beside you. You pulled off a couple pairs you thought looked nice and showed them to her.

“Well let’s go try them on then!” She ushered you to one of the dressing rooms and left you to change. You tried on the first pair, dark blue and boot-cut. Surprisingly they fit very well, and as you looked yourself over in the mirror, you had to admit that you did look pretty good in them.

“Well do we get to see or what?” Natasha called from the other side of the door. 

You nervously opened it and stepped out in front of them, shyly looking down, nervous of their reactions.

“Damn! Those look incredible on you, (Y/N).” Natasha exclaimed. 

“Yes girl, work it! Come on, give us a turn!” Wanda said enthusiastically, and you blushed at the praise and turned in a circle for them to see.

“Well I love them, I think they look great. What about you? Do you want them?” Natasha asked. You nodded. 

“Well it looks like we just got you the first new item in your wardrobe! Congrats! Now, let’s go try on some more stuff!” Wanda cheered at you.

The more clothes you tried on, the more emboldened you became. Sometimes even posing a little for them as they cheered you on. After an hour of trying on what must’ve been hundreds of outfits, you each walked out of the store with two armfuls of clothing bags. There were at least twelve bags of clothes that you now had for your wardrobe. The articles included summer and winter wear, new underwear and bras, pajamas, a fluffy (f/c) bathrobe, pairs of socks, jeans, and t-shirts, also three new pairs of tennis shoes. You walked back out to the car to unload the first round of stuff, and went back inside a different entrance. This time a home deco store.

From there you got a new (f/c) bedspread, a few (f/s) candles, some fairy lights to hang above your bed, a lamp, a nightstand, and some fluffy pillows for your bed. Another trip to the car and you dumped your second load of stuff.

Then you went to the bath and body works they had in the mall.

“I love this store!” Wanda said. She ran in and pulled every single scented thing (which is basically the whole store) off of the shelf and made you smell every one. 

“Ooh (Y/N), come smell this one! Now this one! Then that one!”

“Jeez Wands, you gotta actually let her pick one she likes.” Natasha chided playfully.

“I will, but she has to smell all of the good ones first before she can really decide.” Wanda replied back. 

You finally landed on some (f/s) hand soap, strawberry shampoo and conditioner, (f/s) body wash, lavender deodorant, and peach smelling perfume and lotion. They ended up getting you two bottles of everything, and it only ended up filling one large bag. Natasha insisted on being the one to cart it around, despite you telling her repeatedly that you could do it and you didn’t mind. She just brushed it off and said,

“Don’t worry about it (Y/N), I want to do this for you.” She smiled, and you stopped insisting after that, blushing too hard to really do anything else. The last stop you made was for paint for your room. After many looks at all of the different color swatches, you settled on two cans of (f/c). Then you got two rolls of blue painters tape, two paint rollers, a paint pan to dip the rollers in, and a large roll of plastic tarp to lay on the floor while you painted.

After all of that was taken care of, you all trekked back to the car and dumped off your last few loads of stuff for your room and piled back into the car to head back to the tower. 

“So are you happy with everything, (Y/N)?” Natasha asked you from the back.

“Yes, very. Thank you both so much for doing this with me. It means more than I can say.”

“Hey, anytime. This was fun.” Wanda replied. 

“Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it, that shopping trip was really fun. I’m glad you had a good time too, (Y/N).”

You nodded in thanks, and then Wanda started the car and drove back to the tower. 

When you all got back you set to work getting all of the stuff you bought into your room. Natasha had called the guys and told them to meet you in the garage to help. With the help of Steve, Bucky, Sam, and Rhodey, you all managed to get the job done in one trip. When you had lugged everything into your room the guys all started getting to work helping you unpack everything. 

“Oh, guys, you don’t have to help with that. I don’t want to take unnecessary time out of your day.”

“It’s okay, (Y/N). We want to help you with this. You’re a part of the team now, and a team helps each other, however mundane the task.” Steve said, smiling at you.

“Even if it is painting your room, at least it’ll be done faster with more people. But are you sure you want THIS color?” Rhodey asked you, his face scrunched up in mock disgust.

“Shut it, Rhodes, and paint the girl’s room.” Sam chided him mockingly.

They continued to bicker as they also helped with the room. The guys, with the help of Wanda’s telekinesis sometimes, painted your room. You, Natasha, and Wanda made your bed, hung the lights, set up your nightstand, fixed your wardrobe, and put the candles out on the entertainment center on the front wall in your room. Then they put everything that went in the bathroom up and used their remaining time helping the guys finish up the final touches on the paint. After everything was set up, you worked on clearing out all of the trash. 

When that was done, you all left to take a quick lunch break to allow the paint to dry. By then it was noon. After lunch you watched a few movies with the team and at three in the afternoon the paint was dry enough that you could peel the tarp and painters tape off of the floor and walls. 

When everything was completely done, you stepped into the center of your room and did a slow turn around. Admiring the room that apparently resembled you, your interests, what you liked. You didn’t even know what you liked before now but this room gave you a glimpse into yourself. You found someone that was completely unique in her own way. More than you ever thought you were. And this team that was quickly turning into your family had been the ones to help give that to you. For once when you looked at the essence of yourself, you liked what you saw. Loved what you saw. You decided that shopping trips were your new favorite thing to do.


	8. Show Me What You Got

The morning after the shopping trip was bright, and the day ahead felt full of potential. You showered at 7a.m. with all of the new products you’d bought and had to admit that it was pretty nice to finally smell of something other than old concrete. Now you smelled fresh, and sweet. Like a strawberry, right on the line between subtle and overbearing. Perfectly in the middle. After thoroughly drying your hair, you changed into one of your new outfits and threw the tags in your small bathroom trash can. Unboxing one of your new pairs of shoes, you put those on as well.

Just as you had finished tying the laces in a neat knot, there was a knock at your bedroom door. You went over and opened it to find Steve and Natasha.

“Good morning, (Y/N).” Steve said.

“Morning, did you need something?”

“Actually, yes. We wanted to know how you would feel about showing us the extent of your powers. We’d need to see in order to train you properly, but if you don’t feel up to it that is completely up to you.”

“Um, yeah, I guess that would be okay. Where are we going to do it?”

“Well we have a training room that we use specifically for the enhanced on the team. It’s got high ceilings for flight training, 100 pound and over weights, and an obstacle course. Come on, we’ll take you there.”

Apparently it was only a floor below you for convenience purposes. They led you out of the elevator and down the halls. It only took two lefts, and then a right to get there. When you walked in, you could tell that they weren’t kidding when they said there were high ceilings. This one had to be at least hundreds of feet tall. There were also a few mats laid out for sparring, a ring for boxing, and a few punching bags set up next to the ring. A running track surrounded the entire room, but there were sections of the wall that were extended onto the track for an obstacle course, some of the sections would piston back and forth out of the wall with no foreseeable pattern, you assumed to make it extra complicated. You were definitely impressed, and walked in with them to the middle of the room.

“Alright, so what exactly are your powers? I want the complete list.” Steve asked.

“Well, I know I have super strength, but I don’t know how far that goes. All of my senses are heightened as well, including sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell. But I also don’t know how far those extend.”

“Alright, well that’s as good a start as any. So what I wanna do first is have you move around some heavy objects, and we’ll up the weight on them after each go. Does that sound good to you?”

“Yeah, sounds great. I’m ready, what do you want me to move first?”

He gestured to a large truck tire behind him. You walked over, bent down to get a good grip on it, and lifted hard. A little too hard. The tire flew up into the air and bounced a few times as it came back down. You covered your mouth with your hands in surprise, and turned to meet their faces, which were smiling at you. 

“(Y/N), that was 200 pounds worth of weight and you just flung it into the air like it was nothing. I can already tell we’ve got our work cut out for us with you.” Steve said approvingly.

“Thanks.” You replied back shyly.

“Alright, now try and lift the next one. It’s 350.” He pointed to an even bigger tire along the line.

You flipped it over with one hand and no strain. It was like you were picking up a small rock and not something that weighed 350 pounds.

“Very impressive, now the next one, this one is 450.” 

Again you lifted it and flipped it over with no problem. He pointed to the next one, 600. You did the same with no strain.

All the way down the line until you reached the largest tire, coming in around 900 pounds. You were able to flip it easily as well. You hadn’t even broken a sweat yet.

“We’re gonna need to get someone down here that can stack and tie these together for her. That way we can add more weight.” Natasha said to Steve.

He nodded, “I’ll call Wanda, she’d be able to get it done the fastest.” He pulled out his phone and called her, and a minute later Wanda was standing there with a large length of thick rope, presumably to tie the tires together with.

“Thank you for coming, Wanda. Can you tie the smallest tire to the largest one first? We’ll go up the line from there.” Natasha asked.

“Yeah, got it.” Wanda replied. She then proceeded to use her telekinesis to tie the 200 pound tire to the 900 pound one.

“Alright, (Y/N). This is 1,100 pounds, have at it.” Steve told you.

You shook out your hands and stepped up to the tires... and flipped them. 

“Oh my God, that’s amazing.” Wanda exclaimed. You smiled at her. 

“Wanda, can you tie the next tire on?” Steve asked.

She did as asked, this time making a tire that was 1,250 pounds. This time when you flipped there was a little strain, but not enough to really matter.

They kept it going until they had ended up having to stack all of the tires together in a tower, making the weight you would lift next a whopping 2,550 pounds. When you were able to lift and hold it above your head with no trouble at all, even benching it with one arm a couple of times, the three people gathered in the room with you just stared in awe.

“Do you think she might even be as strong as her?” Natasha asked Steve.

Steve, who seemed to know who Natasha was talking about replied, “It’s possible, but she can lift at least 180,000 pounds, we’ve barely scratched the surface of that.”

“Yeah but I mean come on, who knows if we even will, we don’t have that many weights, and we can’t tie everything together.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think we should try and contact her yet. There are things (Y/N) can lift still that aren’t weights.”

“Alright, but if we hit a road block we need to see if there’s anything she can do to help us.”

“We will. But first let’s use what we have first.”

Who were they talking about? Who was ‘she’? And how in the hell does she lift a hundred thousand pounds? You were interested, but you didn’t want to make it seem as if you were snooping, so you chose not to ask and waited until they had finished talking.

“Okay, well this was a very good start, but we may have to wait a little before we can really put together a good weight training plan for you. We at least know that you are stronger than most enhanced, so we’re gonna have to move on from there. Go to the end of the room please and stand against the wall, we’re gonna see how far your senses extend.” Natasha said.

You did as you were told and leaned back against the far wall. She came over to you and backed up at least twenty feet away.

“How good is your hearing from here?”

“Loud and clear.” You replied.

She backed up a ways more, then asked the same question in the same volume.

“I can still hear you.” You said to her.

She kept backing up until she was halfway across the room from you. 

“How about now?” She asked. She was still only speaking at normal volume, but you could hear her with no problem.

“Still hear you!” You called to her. 

She then walked to the other end of the room and stood at the opposite wall, she looked tiny from here, but you could still see every feature of her face clearly despite how far away she was. ‘Beautiful even at long distances.’ Your brain thought without your permission, you stuffed the thought down though when she asked you again if you could still hear her.

“Still can!” You shouted over to her. She shook her head with an impressed smile stretched across her face and jogged back over to where you, Steve, and Wanda were.

“Well I think you might just be impossible to train, it’s very impressive, but also ridiculous. And you said you got these powers all without an infinity stone?” Wanda asked.

“As far as I know, yes.”

“Insane.”

“Well, it was definitely a good starting place. (Y/N), I’m afraid until we know more we can’t train you as well as we’d like on your powers. But you can still do combat training which will help you immensely in the field. Natasha has already volunteered to be your trainer on that. I’ll leave you to it.” Steve said, then he turned to walk out of the room, Wanda following close behind.

You turned back to face Natasha, who had a very devious grin on her face that scared you more than you cared to admit.

“You ready for this?” She asked as she stepped onto a mat. You stepped on with her and you started circling each other.

You gulped audibly and replied, “As ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

“Good. Now, show me what you got.”


	9. Time Goes By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip

About a month goes by before they finally find something to help you with your strength training. During that time you’ve been combat training with Nat everyday and even you have to admit that you’re way better than you were before. The first training session you’d had with her she beat the living crap out of you, and afterward left you sore but more determined than ever to get better. You had learned before to keep your strength at bay, so that you would never hurt anybody on accident. 

She never went easy on you, her reason she said was, ‘Your enemies aren’t going to go easy on you, and in the ring your opponent is your enemy. Now let’s go again.’ You both hated and loved it. Hated the fact that you had a lot of catch-up to play, but loved it because you had her to teach you. She was amazing at what she did, and she never tread lightly around you. The others did, as if they thought that if they stepped too loudly around you you’d break. You know logically that they weren’t trying to, and you didn’t hold it against them. The only ones who didn’t go easy on you were Nat and Wanda. 

Wanda treated you like you were her little sister, always the one to try and show you something new, always making sure you were eating enough, always arguing with you about who was the hottest guy or girl on whatever TV show she was watching at the time, and she always let you sleep in her room if you had a nightmare. She was becoming your best friend quickly, and you were happy it was someone as caring as her.

Nat, on the other hand, was something different entirely. Your relationship felt at first like yours and Wanda’s, like you were best friends. When you weren’t training, sometimes the two of you would watch movies together, she taught you how to dance a little ballet when you’d asked, and she was the first one you told anything to. You just generally found yourself wanting to spend all of your time with her. So yes you were definitely friends, but it also felt to you like something else was there too, you just didn’t know what.

You were sitting on one of the common room couches thinking about this when Steve and Natasha both walked in, looking suspiciously upbeat about something. You pushed your thoughts aside and looked up at them.

“What are you two so happy about?”

“Well we finally found something we could use for your strength training. Tony and Rhodey are bringing it here now.” Steve said.

“Well, come on! Let’s go meet them outside.” Natasha said, gesturing for you to follow them.

You got up quickly and followed them into the elevator, and then up to the tower’s helipad. You figured whatever they were bringing it must be huge if they needed it up here. 

You looked out into the distance and found them flying in their suits, carrying something that you couldn’t quite see yet. When they came close enough, you found that what they were carrying was an actual fucking train car. You gaped as they landed and set the car down gently as possible. Tony let his mask fall away and turned to you.

“Let’s hope you can actually use this thing, because it was hell bringing it here. We had to set it down several times and stretch our abused muscles because of this damn thing.”

“What muscles exactly, Stark?” Rhodey teased him.

“Whose side are you on? Because I seem to remember you getting just as tired as me.”

“Hey I’m just saying man, I’m pretty sure it was me doing most of the heavy lifting. What with how weak your arms are.” 

“Excuse me, did you forget that I have a robotic arm that could throw boulders at your head, that I made by myself FYI.”

“Boys, boys, we can compare sizes later. For now could you please step aside and let (Y/N) try out her new toy?” Natasha chided them with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. 

The guys grumbled a little but stepped back over to stand beside Natasha and Steve.

“Okay (Y/N), this train car weighs in at about 160,000 pounds. If this isn’t enough to train you with then nothing on earth is.” Steve told you.

“Except maybe a building.” Tony snarked. 

You rolled your eyes at him and walked over to the train car. You bent down to get a good grip on it, and with some effort, managed to lift it off the ground. Then you pushed it up and held it over your head. It felt like you were only lifting a heavy table over your head, and not an 80 ton train car.

“Try it with one hand.” Natasha said.

You did, and carefully shifted your right hand down to your side as you held the car in your left. You even tried to bench it, and found you could do so with ease.

“Are you exerting any effort or stress at all?” Steve asked.

“Honestly, no. This feels to me like what lifting a table feels to you. Heavy, but not really.” You answered.

“Are you sure that everything that made you this way was manmade? Because don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some pretty amazing things in my day, but I’ve never seen anything that could let you do what you’re doing right now. Maybe on a different planet, but not earth.”

“What are you saying, Stark?” Steve asked.

“I’m saying that while maybe Hydra didn’t use an infinity stone on her, they had to have used something alien.”

“Well maybe they did, but even if that was true we don’t have the tech to figure that out. If it is alien like you say.”

“Yeah. To really figure it out, you’d have to find an alien about as strong as her who could tell you something.” Natasha said.

“Well we don’t exactly have anybody like that who could tell us on the team.” Rhodey pointed out.

“Well we do know somebody. She’s just not necessarily on the team, or on earth for that matter.”

“Are you seriously talking about who I think you are?” Tony asked.

“Come on, Stark. She literally went toe to toe with Thanos and she held her own for a good while. If there’s anybody as strong as (Y/N) who also has extensive knowledge about alien tech, it’d be her.” Steve reasoned with him.

“Um, excuse me? Clueless over here.” You spoke up. 

“Sorry (Y/N). The gist of it is that we know someone who might be our best shot at helping you.” Steve explained.

“Yeah, I gathered that much. Who is ‘she’ though, exactly?”

“Her name is Carol Danvers, but she’s also known as Captain Marvel.”

“And she’ll be able to help me figure out how I got this way?”

“In theory, yes. We hope so, anyway. Nat do you still know where the pager Fury had is?”

“Yeah, he has it though. If we want to call her we’d have to either steal the pager, or just use the holograms we used during the blip.” 

“Alright, we’ll use those. That seems like the safer option anyway. Let’s get it done ASAP.”

“Sir, yes, sir.” Natasha replied with a mock salute. She turned to you and gestured for you to come with her.

You both walked back down to the elevator and took it down a few levels until it opened up and she led you down several halls and into a room with four metal, circular platforms. She took a tablet off of a table by the door and pressed on it a few times until one of the platforms lit up in a soft, light blue glow. She waited for a moment, until an image flickered into being. It was a woman with short, blonde hair down to her chin, chocolate eyes, and a red and blue suit with a golden star in the middle of her chest. 

“Hey Natasha. Long time no see, what’d you call for?” The woman, Carol you guessed, asked.

Natasha gestured to you by way of answer.

“And... who exactly is that? I didn’t notice her on the team last time I was there.”

“That’s because she’s our newbie. Only been here for a month. We rescued her from Hydra and have since been trying to find a way to train her strength. Hydra genetically altered her with something we think might be alien, and we were wondering if you could help us with that.”

“Well, you are in luck. I just so happen to have a rare moment of free time, so I’m actually in a position to come back to Earth for awhile.”

“Great, I’ll fill you the rest of the way in once you get here, see you soon. And thank you, Carol.”

The woman smirked, “Don’t mention it, babe. And hey, kid?” She turned to you.

“Yeah?”

“What’s your name?”

“(Y/N).”

“Well, (Y/N), it was nice to meet you. We’ll figure this out okay, kiddo?”

You nodded. “Thanks, Carol.”

“I’ll see y’all soon.” Then the image of her flickered off. And Natasha turned towards you.

“So... you want pizza for lunch?”

You laughed. “Yeah, sure.” 

She smiled at you and pulled you by your hand to go back to the kitchen and call in an order. 

The whole way back you couldn’t help but like the way her hand felt in yours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not quite sure where this story should go next, but I absolutely intend to finish it, so if y’all could help me come up with some ideas that would be great!


	10. Arrival

You waited for only another day and a half before Carol finally got there. Natasha has been checking in with her every two hours until Carol had reported that morning that she was nearing a jump point that would take her right outside of Earth. Then from there you’d only had to wait three hours before she was outside preparing to land on the heli-pad.

You had spent those three hours right beside the door, pacing back and forth nervously, until Nat had grabbed you by your shoulders, holding you in place. 

“Quit pacing, you’re making me dizzy.” She said with a smirk.

“Sorry.” You said, ducking your head shyly.

She shook her head at you, chuckling at your behavior.

It was then that you heard very loud jet engines coming closer to the tower.

“She’s here.” You told Natasha.

“How do you know?”

“Super hearing, remember?”

“Ah.”

You both walked outside and stood at the edge of the pad, giving her room to land. Her ship looked like a quinjet, but you had been told that those couldn’t go into space. You assumed that it had probably been modified.

When her ship had finally landed, you grew even more nervous. What if she couldn’t help you? What if she didn’t even find anything? Or worse, what if she did find something, something wrong?

The jet’s engines powered down, and the cargo bay door lowered. Out walked the woman you had seen on the hologram. She looked taller in person, but you guess that was to be expected.

She walked over to you both and held out her hand to shake yours, “We finally meet. You’re shorter than I’d thought you’d be.” She mused. 

You giggled, “I was about to say that you looked taller than I thought you were.”

She laughed, and let your hand out of her grip.

“I like her. So I do believe I was promised a full run through of the situation?” She directed this question at Natasha.

“Yes, did you want to go somewhere private?”

“Nah, we can walk and talk. As long as we go somewhere I can rest for a minute. Don’t know if you knew, but going through a jump point takes a lot out of you. And I had to go through three to get here.” She chuckled tiredly.

You didn’t really know what a ‘jump point’ was, but you supposed it wasn’t important right now.

“(Y/N), you wanna tell her what’s going on? It is your story after all.” Natasha asked.

“Um, sure. Well... I guess the gist of it is that I don’t really know. All I know is that I thought what was done to me was man made, but apparently with the abilities I’ve shown that’s not possible.”

“Yeah, Nat told me you can lift 160,000 pounds?” She asked as we turned a corner.

“Yeah, and probably more.”

“Wow kid, that’s almost as much as me. I can lift over 200 thousand, but that’s because an infinity stone gave me my powers. And that’s not the case with you, correct?”

“Yeah. Apparently they’ve been destroyed so it’s impossible.”

“Be glad, those stones caused all kinds of unnecessary problems that all of us are better off without.” She replied with a short huff as you entered the elevator.

Natasha asked FRIDAY to take you all down to the common room floor.

“But I do agree that it can’t’ve been man made, it’s most likely something alien. But I’ll need to see you in action.”

“Well, we do still have the train car. We would need to go to the training room though, that’s where they had me move it. FRIDAY, could you redirect us to the training rooms?”

“Yes, miss (L/N).” The AI responded. 

You all rode the rest of the way in silence. When the doors opened, Natasha led you all to the training area you had had your first lesson in. 

On the back wall, away from the rest of the equipment, sat your train car.

“Damn, kid. You lifted that?”

You nodded.

“No trouble at all?”

You nodded again. She looked at you for a moment.

“You don’t talk much do you?”

You shook your head with a cheeky smile.

“A rare treat around here.” Natasha said.

“Alright then. Well, show me what I’m working with.” Carol said, gesturing at the train car. You did what you had done the first time. You lifted it above your head with one hand, and then pushed it up and down, showing off your strength. Carol stared at you for a minute, then directed you to put it down while she walked over to you.

“That is very impressive. How well can you do in hand-to-hand?”

“Pretty well, Nat’s been training me.”

“How long?”

“About a month. But I was trained in the red room until I was fourteen.”

“Hm. I guess that’ll do, come on.”

She then walked over to one of the mats, taking her boots off before stepping onto it.

“Wait, you wanna spar with me?”

“I need to know exactly what I’m dealing with. Plus, nobody’s ever been able to take me in a fight. The only one who ever came close was Romanoff.” She said with a cocky smirk on her face.

“You said we’d never talk about that again.” Natasha retorted.

“Oh, don’t feel bad. At least the team wasn’t there.”

“Danvers, don’t make me come over there.”

“Pretty bold considering what happened last time.” Carol retorted with a raised eyebrow at Natasha.

She only rolled her eyes.

“Uh huh. Anyway, (Y/N), you ready?”

You went over to stand across from her on the mat, taking your shoes off as well.

“Yeah, I guess so.”

As soon as you said that, Carol launched herself at you in a series of coordinated hits. You had barely managed to block them, caught off guard by the sudden onslaught. 

You threw your own calculated hits back at her, she deflected them with ease.

You both fought each other in a violent dance, until she managed to twist your arm and bring you to your knees. She held you there with one hand gripping your wrist, and the other pushing against your shoulder, keeping you on the ground.

“You wanna tap out?”

You refused to lose now. And with a sudden burst of energy, you pushed up hard and twisted your body out of her hold, turning and giving a swift, powerful punch to her chest, sending her flying for only a moment before she caught herself.

She hovered in the air, her whole body glowing gold, until she softly touched back down on the ground. She wore a satisfied smile on her face, and reached out her hand for you to shake.

You took it, but she took you by your forearm, gripping it tightly. You adjusted your grip to match.

“That was the best sparring match I’ve had in a while. It’s refreshing to fight someone who can keep pace with me. You did good.”

“Thanks.”

She then gestured for you to follow her, and you walked back out of the room after you both grabbed your shoes and put them back on. Natasha followed you.

“Where are we going?” She asked.

“Back to my ship, I brought something that can help us.”

“What is it?” 

“It’s a type of bio-scanner, it can pick up any amount of trace alien DNA and tell you exactly where it came from.”

“If you had that this whole time, then what did we need to spar for?” You asked.

“Oh, we didn’t. I just really wanted to see you in action.” She glanced at you with a self-satisfied smirk.

“Danvers, if I could, I’d kill you.” Natasha said.

“Good thing you can’t.” She snarked back, still wearing that smirk.

You decided you liked Carol. She was cool.

When you had made it back to her ship, she invited you both into it. Inside in the middle of the space was a table-looking thing. Except it was a solid rectangle of metal and the top of it glowed a pale blue.

“You have no idea what it took for me to get this thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to bargain with Trimaxians? Their prices for everything are extremely high.” She sighed.

You had no idea what that was, you guessed some race of alien.

“Now I should probably warn you about this thing. It doesn’t scan you like any normal scanner, it covers you with a thin film of a kinda gooey substance. You’ll still be able to breathe though, but it feels entirely unpleasant I’ve heard. Then once it gets the results it needs, the film slides back and an automated voice tells you what it found, if anything. You okay with all that?”

“As long as it can tell me what’s inside me I’m fine.”

“Well then, I guess all that’s left is for you to hop on up there.” 

Before you could climb on, Nat held you back. You turned to face her, and she said, “I’ll be right here the whole time, okay? Even if it doesn’t find anything, we’ll figure it out together.”

You smiled at her, then did something that you didn’t expect. Acting on impulse, you wrapped your arms around her in a tight hug.

She froze for a moment, then hesitantly folded her arms around you as well. Hugging you back just as tightly.

When you both let go, too soon for you, you turned back to the table. 

You lifted yourself on it gently, then laid back flat on the surface. 

It happened instantly. As soon as your back touched the surface, a layer of what felt like slime slid over and encompassed your entire body. You managed to shut your eyes in time before it slid over your face. Like Carol had said, you could still breathe, so that was a relief. It still felt like the grossest thing you had ever done though, like trying to swim in a pool of mucus. Just... ew. It felt like the word ‘ew’.

It was over as quick as it happened, and for that you were glad. When the stuff slid back over your body, you shivered. You quickly got up off the table and brushed yourself off, your skin still crawling unpleasantly from the feeling of whatever it was.

They were both silently chuckling at your reaction, and you rolled your eyes at them. Then the table gave you your results.

“Alien substance found. Origin: Mor’eya. Race: Creelax.”

“Shit.” Carol said. Looking astonished at the results, even though you had no idea what those words meant.

“What? What does that mean? Who are the, the Creelax?” Natasha asked.

“Um, they were a race of people who lived on the now destroyed planet Mor’eya. I heard about it once on Hala. They were incredibly strong and could basically lift...” She hesitated.

“Lift what, Carol?” You asked.

“Oh, only about, 1... million pounds.”

“Oh dear.” You said as you backed up to sit down on one of the seats against the wall. Natasha came over and sat with you, a hand on your shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s just, a lot.” 

“Kid, if you were given even a fraction of that DNA, you would theoretically be able to lift at least a quarter of that.”

“You mean to say, that I can hold... 250,000 pounds?” You asked, sounding surprisingly calm despite how you felt.

“I mean, yeah. Kid I hate to say it, but you’re probably stronger than I am.”

“That is...” You started.

“Fucking amazing.” Natasha finished. You snapped your head to look at her and raised your eyebrow.

“What? It is!” She said, shrugging at the look you were giving her.

“She’s right kid, you are amazing. Natasha, did you manage to find anything they might have used on her when you rescued her from Hydra?” Carol asked.

“Um, yes. I think we managed to get a few files from their hard drives. Something might come up if we looked through it again.”

“But you don’t have anything physical?” 

“No, we were ordered to smash and grab. The base, along with whatever was in it, is destroyed.”

“Good. Better if it can’t get into anyone else’s hands, who knows what they’d do with it.”

“As incredible as this all is, we still have no way to train her, and that was our initial problem to begin with.” Natasha stated.

“Well, I’m only a little less strong than she is, I could help her with it.” Carol offered.

“Really?” You asked.

“Yeah, why not? I don’t have any other obligations at the moment, I could go travel to some planets, gather some suitable weights for you, then come back and help you learn how to really put your strength to use.”

“Yes, that would be great! Thank you so much, I don’t even know what to say.” You told her sincerely.

“Don’t mention it, kid. I’ll only be gone for maybe a week, probably less, but when I come back we’ll get started yeah?”

“Yeah! Again, thank you.” You said, trying to contain your excitement.

“No problem.” She chuckled.

“Well, I guess we’ll see you in a few days then?”

“Yup. I look forward to it.” She said.

“Me too.” You honestly couldn’t wait to get started. It was going to be a long week to wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The planet and the race are completely made up by me, as far as I know at least


	11. Revelations

While you were waiting for Carol to come back after the promised week, you had started to notice certain things. Things about you and things about a... certain someone.

For starters, you had noticed that you were beginning to fill out. Your body wasn’t the thin, small thing it had been before, now that you’d had a steady food supply, and real workouts. You had meat on your bones now, and you didn’t look so sickly. Your body was toned, you had curves, and your facial features were actually really pretty. You were so glad that you finally looked as good as you felt for once. Your body had always been a sore spot for you, and even now you sometimes still struggled. But at least now you felt better, and you had people to help you feel that way.

Aside from the physical things you noticed, there were some new emotional developments as well. 

For one, you were happier than you’d been in a long time. You smiled more, you laughed more, you joked more. As it turns out, you could be very sarcastic when you wanted to be. Sam had taken to calling you a ‘cheeky bastard’ sometimes when you said something particularly clever. 

But there was also something else, a deeper feeling that you just couldn’t place. You felt it when you were with the team. But this feeling was amplified when you were around a certain person. It felt warm and fuzzy, almost tingly. Your face heated whenever you saw her looking at you, and it was like your tongue swelled whenever you tried to talk to her. You were the most relaxed when you were with her, although you didn’t know why. These feelings had built on themselves ever since you’d met her. And you realized that it both excited, and simultaneously, terrified you. 

And never mind what you thought about her when your mind did things without your permission.

She was beautiful, more so that there wasn’t even a proper word to describe it. She was funny, and had been there for you since day one. Sometimes you even went to her instead of Wanda when you had nightmares. She would just open her covers for you to climb in with her and then she’d hold you all night. She always made sure that you were comfortable before you did anything, you could tell that she really cared for you too. 

You did almost everything together. She showed you her favorite movies, introduced you to a lot of music, trained you to fight, and talked to you for hours about anything and everything.

It made you feel good, you just didn’t know why it did. You hadn’t ever experienced this feeling before, and it scared you. Though you didn’t know why it did that either.

You couldn’t go to her about this feeling though, you just... couldn’t. So you decided that you’d go to Wanda. You trusted her, and maybe she could help you figure out what this was or why you felt this way.

You knocked on her door, feeling strangely nervous. A few seconds later, she opened it.

“Hi, (Y/N)! How are you?” She asked, smiling at you.

“I actually needed to talk to you. Could I come in?”

“You know you never have to ask, come in and sit. What did you need to talk about?”

You went in and sat on her bed. She closed her bedroom door and locked it, coming over to sit next to you.

“Well, I’ve been experiencing some new feelings lately, and they confuse me. I thought you could help.”

“Of course, can you describe these these feelings?”

You thought for a moment on how to best word it.

“Well, I only feel it when I’m around one person in particular. And it’s a funny feeling, like I’m warmer and happier when I’m around her.” You began.

“Oh, I see. Could you tell me more?” She asked, although she could sense where this was going.

“Well, I’m happy and terrified at the same time. My face gets hotter whenever she looks at me, and I’m always afraid of saying something stupid around her. I wanna tell her about it, but at the same time it feels like I’m gonna throw up whenever I think about telling her. I always wanna do stuff with her, even if we’re just talking. But my throat feels like I swallowed a rock whenever I am talking to her. It’s so conflicting, and confusing, and nerve-wracking. But it’s also happy, and stabilizing, and clarifying. Do you know what it is? Because I’ve never felt this way before.”

She was smiling very hugely at you, for she did indeed know what you were feeling. She’d felt it before with Vision. 

“Yes, I do.”

“Tell me, please?” You asked innocently, and she almost cooed at how adorable you were being about it.

“Well from personal experience, it sounds a lot like you’re in love.”

“In love?”

“Yes. It is a perfectly normal feeling that occurs whenever you become especially attracted to someone. These feelings develope over time, and usually grow over the course of that time. It’s a strong feeling that you typically only feel with one person. Or more simply put, it’s called falling in love. And you, my sweet sestra, have fallen in love with someone.”

She hugged you then, and you hugged her back.

“Tell me what you think about this person, what is she like to you?” She asked.

“Well, I love sending time with her, and talking to her, just everything as long as it’s with her. She’s really beautiful, and she makes my stomach feel funny, or like I’m floating. I love her smile, and her eyes, and her hair, and her voice. I love everything about her. And I didn’t realize how strongly I felt about all of this until now. It scares me Wanda, but it also makes me really happy.”

“She sounds wonderful. May I ask who this mystery girl is?” She asked, although she already knew. Of course she did, there was only one other girl who lived in the tower besides her, you didn’t need to be a mind-reader to figure this out. But she wanted you to tell her yourself, wanted it to be your choice.

“I can tell you this, right? I can tell you anything?” You asked.

“Always.” She answered.

“Okay. Well, I’m pretty sure these feelings are for Natasha. No, I’m very sure.”

“You know what that means right?” 

“That... I’ve fallen in love?”

“Yes, but you need to finish that sentence. Once you do, everything will click, I promise. Fallen in love with who?”

“I’ve fallen in love with Natasha.”

“Yes.” She nodded, smiling like an idiot and barely containing her excitement for you.

“Oh shit. I’ve fallen in love with Natasha. I’ve fallen... in love. With Natasha.” You repeated, everything seeming to just click into place and becoming alarmingly real for you.

“Indeed you have.” Wanda said about as calmly as she could manage, trying to ease you into this.

“Ohhhh, SHIT. I’m in love with Nat, Wanda I’m in love with Nat! What do I do? Do I even do anything? Do I tell her? Wait... God no, I can’t tell her. Wanda what do I do?!” You said, panicking for reasons unknown to you. But it felt like the appropriate response so you went with it.

She placed both of her hands on your shoulders, calming you a fraction.

“Hey, hey, slow down. You don’t have to do anything yet. This is all very new for you, so it’s okay that you feel this way. Just focus on getting used to the feeling and the realization for now. It’s okay, alright? You are not obligated to do or say anything you don’t want to if you don’t feel up to it, okay?” She said, greatly soothing your nerves as you nodded. She smiled and pulled you into another hug, this time not letting go for a while.

You sighed into the comforting embrace. Grateful for the knowledge that there was no rush to do anything you weren’t comfortable with. You could simply just get used to how you felt for as long as you needed.

Before, your thoughts had been all over the place. Thanks to Wanda, she was able to calm you down, tell you everything was going to be alright. You were glad that you had her for a sister, even if she wasn’t blood-related.

“Thanks, Wanda, for being there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” You said, pulling away from the hug.

“No trouble at all, (Y/N). You can always come to me.” She smiled warmly at you.

After that, she invited you to stay in her room that night, and watch movies. You accepted. 

But throughout all of the movies you watched, you found it increasingly hard to concentrate. Only one person on your mind. You hadn’t even noticed that the more you thought of her, the goofier your smile had gotten. Ugh, you were so royally screwed. But in the best way.


	12. New Toys

After your talk with Wanda you felt much better about your feelings for Natasha. You were so glad that she was there for you to help you sort through it all. There was only one problem, now that you knew that what you were feeling was love, your interactions with Natasha became more awkward for you. 

You couldn’t seem to say anything around her without your voice getting caught in your throat or just babbling nonsensically. She seemed to find it cute, but that only embarrassed you more for some reason. 

You don’t know why realizing your feelings for her only made you more nervous around her, but it did. Why were emotions so confusing? 

The last days before Carol’s arrival you had mainly only been able to focus on how you felt. You were falling behind in training because of it. Natasha had asked you why you were so unfocused lately, and you had just brushed her off, nervously denying your scattered thoughts.

You were immensely relieved when Carol finally got back to help you with your training.

She stepped off of her ship and held up a large duffel that clanked metallically whenever it moved.

“Got you some new toys, (Y/N). I found them on some junk planet. The metal is not of Earth but it is definitely heavy enough to do the job we need it to.”

“That’s awesome. Thank you so much, again, for doing this.”

“Eh, no biggie. So... are you ready for your first session with me?”

“Yes.”

“Good, let’s go to the training room and then we’ll get started.”

The two of you went to the training room together and she walked over to the weight benches. She took off the existing weights and pulled out the new ones from her bag. 

When she got them fastened on correctly she motioned you to sit on the bench.

“Okay, go ahead and try them out.”

You laid down and grabbed both sides of the bar. When you lifted them, you found that you were actually exerting effort to lift it this time. 

Finally, something heavy enough that you could work with.

“How’s that feel?” She asked.

“It feels good. Like it actually takes strain to lift it.”

“Good. Now do five sets with it.” She said bluntly.

“That’s fifty.”

“I know what I said. And when you’re done with that we’re gonna spar again.”

“Ugh, fine.”

“Hey, you’re the one who accepted my offer to train you.”

You rolled your eyes and started the sets. When you were done, you found that there was a burning in your muscles, you had actually gotten sore from the weight. You were relieved, now you could finally train the right way.

‘Just not with Nat.’ You thought.

She had been the only person you’d ever trained with since you’ve been here. You liked training with her and you were sad that for a while, you wouldn’t be anymore.

“Hey, (Y/N), you alright?”

You snapped out of your head, and nodded.

“Yeah, I was just thinking about something, sorry. Are you ready?”

“I think I should be asking you that question. Are you sure you can handle me?” She smirked.

“Oh, you’re on.”

After the first round, your mind continued to wander. 

It had started when you had noticed that Carol was about the same height as you were. This was different, because you were used to fighting with Natasha, who was taller. 

Also, where Carol was all sharp and brutish in her fighting, Natasha was graceful and silent. You loved the way she seemed to move so fluidly, and effortlessly, like she was cutting butter, and not fighting.

Then your mind wandered from how she moved while fighting, to how she moved in general.

The way her hips would sway back and forth whenever she walked, how her feet seemed to never make a sound. She was so graceful, and you loved that about her.

Carol threw an unexpected kick and landed you on your ass.

“(Y/N)? Are you sure you’re okay? You seem distracted.”

“What? No, I’m not. Let’s go again.”

She shrugged her shoulders but didn’t push the matter.

You both circled each other again, and your mind decided to wander some more.

This time you were thinking about her eyes.

Natasha’s eyes were green. You never really thought that you liked the color all that much. But you really liked it in her eyes. A bright, sparkling veridian. So soft, but so beautiful at the same time. 

You could get lost forever in those eyes. They were almost like stars, like the whole galaxy had been brought together and molded perfectly to fit there. You loved how sometimes they would get brighter whenever she was talking to you, and her whole face seemed to light up with it.

Her smile was the best. Her laugh was even better though. Like jingle bells softly tinkling as the sound filled the room. You loved it when she would laugh. You loved it especially when you were the one who’d made her laugh. 

Carol again threw a hit at you that knocked you to the floor. 

As you hit the ground on your back, Carol walked over to you and held out a hand to help you up.

When you were facing her again, you went to pull out of her grip, but she held you there. She had a look on her face that you couldn’t place.

“You’re definitely distracted. What’s on your mind?”

“Nothing! I’m not distracted.” You said, a little too quickly and she saw right through it.

“Uh huh. Look (Y/N), if you’re distracted while we train, then you aren’t learning anything. And if you’re not learning, it’s gonna kill you on the field. So I ask again, what’s on your mind?”

You took a deep breath in, and let it out forcefully.

“I’ve been going through some new feelings recently, and I just got carried away thinking about it, that’s all.”

“These wouldn’t happen to be romantic feelings would they?”

“How did you know that?”

“Well for starters, I’m not blind. You were smiling like an idiot the whole time you were distracted.”

You blushed and looked away from her.

“So, who’s the girl?”

You snapped your head back to her and stared in shock.

“How did you know THAT?”

“My gaydar had you pinged from day one.”

“Your ‘gaydar’?” You asked incredulously.

“Not important. Who’s the girl?”

“Um, it’s Natasha.” You said quietly, a little embarrassed at being found out.

“Seriously? Huh. Good for you, dude.”

“Thanks, look... just promise you won’t tell her? Please?”

She held her hands up. “Hey, that’s not my place, it’s yours.”

“Yeah. Except I don’t even know if I can tell her.” You said dejectedly.

“Sure you can! It’s simple. You just sit her down somewhere privately, and be honest with her.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“Well I never said it was easy, but it is simple. Of course it’s hard to tell someone that you like them a certain way. But sometimes, the right person is worth the risk. Do you feel like she’s worth the risk?”

“Of course.” You answered immediately.

She smiled brightly at you. “Then all you gotta do is tell her. And don’t hold back, tell her exactly how you feel, and be as honest as you can. You’ll never know if you never try.”

“Yeah. I guess you’re right. But I’m just so... scared.”

“Hey, it’s totally okay to be scared. This is a scary thing! Love is scary as hell, man. But sometimes, and this is gonna sound cheesy as shit, if you wanna learn to swim, you just gotta jump in the water. Who knows what could happen next? You might drown, but you also might float. But the only certainty is that if you don’t try it first then you will never find out. Trust me, you don’t want wanna start having the ‘what could’ve been’ regrets. Those are the worst.” She said.

And though they were rather blunt, her words still comforted you a great deal.

“What if she doesn’t feel the same?”

“Kid I’m gonna be honest, it’ll suck. But at least you can say that you went for it, and you weren’t scared. Plus, you’ll have plenty of people here that will help you through it. You gotta take the chance, though.”

“Okay. Okay, yeah! I will, I mean I’m scared as hell about it but you’re right. I can’t wait forever and then worry about what might’ve been. I need to tell her, I need to tell her everything. Even if she won’t feel the same.”

“That’s the spirit, kid. Listen, how about we cut training short for today and we’ll pick up where we left off tomorrow? Hopefully without the distraction?” She asked, smirking at you.

You blushed, but nodded. 

Then you both left the training room together and you went to your room to plan. You were going to tell her, you had decided and you planned on sticking with it. Now you just needed to figure out how.


	13. Jumping in the Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, okay. I have tortured you all enough, and honestly this is all the slow-burn I can handle! So, I can’t give spoilers, but a certain someone reveals their feelings today☺️

You had no fucking clue how to do this. You were planning on telling Natasha your feelings, but you were coming up with zilch on HOW. This was too hard. Out of all of the romance movies you’ve seen so far, none of them explained that it would be this hard. 

You really, really, REALLY, wanted so badly to just be able to walk up to her and tell her. You just couldn’t figure out how to do it. Were you over-thinking it? You were probably over-thinking it. But it was so hard not to. You really liked her, it was too early to say anything about love, but you knew that you at least felt strongly about her.

God, why was this so hard? It had been three days since your talk with Carol. You had tried to just tell Natasha, but every single time you opened your mouth to speak, she gave you her full attention. And when she did that, and looked so deeply into your eyes with her beautiful gaze, your throat collapsed in on itself. Your vocal cords refused to produce any sound. Your mouth would just open and close like a fish. A hundred times you had tried to talk to her. And a hundred times you had failed.

You were sick of not knowing what to do, or how to do it. So you did what you always did when you needed help. There were two things, one: you went to Nat. Obviously given the current situation, that was a hell no with a capital H. Two: you went to Wanda. So that’s what you chose.

You knocked on your sister’s door anxiously, not stopping until she opened it. When she did, you ran inside and shut it closed again. Then you started pacing for lack of something better to do.

“Hi, (Y/N). How are you? Of course you can come in, please make yourself at home. You’re most welcome.” She said snidely in your direction.

You stopped your pacing and looked at her. “Oh har, har. I need to talk to you.”

“I gathered that from the way you just burst into my room.”

“Wanda for real! I need help with something, something serious.”

“Apologize first.” She smirked at you.

“Ugh, are you kidding me?”

“I never kid, (Y/N).”

“Oh my God, you are so annoying!”

“Says the person who just burst into my room with zero warning!” She scoffed.

“Fiiinnne. I’m sorry for bursting into your room! Can you help me now?”

“Well since you asked so nicely.”

You rolled your eyes at her and she gestured for you both to sit at her bed. When you were seated, she turned to you.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Well, you know how you told me to tell Nat how I feel only when I’m ready?”

“Yes, are you ready to?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know! I mean I feel like I’m ready to tell her, I just don’t know how to.”

“So you came to me.”

“So I came to you, yes.”

“Well have you tried just sitting down and talking with her?”

“Yes! But it’s kind of hard to speak when your heart is jammed up your throat.”

“Okay, alright. Well, you could take her somewhere away from the tower. Like a nice day out, just the two of you, until you feel relaxed enough to work up the courage to tell her. That way there’s no distractions, and you have a whole day to figure out what to say. Plus, you get to spend quality time with your girlfriend.” 

You blushed hard. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Yet, you mean.”

“Whatever. Do you think that’ll work?”

“I don’t know, but it’s worth a try, right?”

“Okay. But, when do you think I should do it?”

“Well, it is only ten in the morning.” She suggested.

“Are you saying I take her out now? Today?”

“Do you have anything better to do?”

“Well... no.”

“So why not? I also happen to know that she has nothing else to do today either.”

“Alright... I mean, it’s not like any other time will be the ‘right time’. Why not go now?”

“That’s the spirit! Now, go and get the girl.” She said, pulling you up and leading you over to the door.

When you were outside, she pushed you out and said, “I have complete faith in you, now go. And don’t screw this up!” She said, pointing at you. With that, she shut the door.

You shook your head, gathered all of the necessary courage you could muster, and walked to Natasha’s door. 

You were pretty sure there was nothing scarier you’d have to do in your entire life, but you knocked on the door anyway.

When she opened it, you took a moment to take in her outfit.

She was wearing a light grey t-shirt that fit her body perfectly, and dark jeans that hugged her in all the right places. Her hair was curled, the vibrant, red strands falling beautifully over her shoulders. When she saw you, she smiled, and you were pretty sure that your heart had completely stopped beating. Your breath hitched, and your brain froze. 

She wasn’t dressed for a gala or anything, but she was still the most beautiful girl you’d ever seen in your entire life. You realized she’d just asked you a question, and the world was kicked back into motion again.

“Um, what?” You asked. 

She laughed at your confused expression, and you blushed.

“I said, how are you today?”

“Oh! I’m good, really good. How about you?”

“Can’t complain, really. So what’s up?”

“Huh?”

She giggled at you again, and your heart stuttered.

“What’s up? You knocked on my door, did you need anything?” She asked.

“Oh. Um, yes actually. I was wondering, if you maybe wanted to go outside with me today. Have a nice day out? I mean, I totally get it if you have plans or something, but I thought I’d ask cause it does feel pretty good out right now. And plus it’s a Thursday so it’s one of the lazier days so I figured you’d wanna get out for a while, but it’s okay if you don’t! I mean if...”

You couldn’t get anything else out because Natasha had pressed her hand to your mouth.

“Slow down before you hurt yourself. I would love to spend the day with you today. Just let me get some shoes and we’ll head out, okay?” She removed her hand and continued to smile at you.

You sighed in immense relief. “Yes, yeah, good. Okay, I’ll let you do that.”

She giggled at you and went to grab some shoes from beside her bed.

“So, did you have any plans on where to go? Or are we gonna make it up as we go along?” She asked.

“Um, whatever sounds good to you. I mean, I didn’t really have anything concrete on my agenda. Just thought it’d be a good day to go out for a while. So I guess whatever’s good for you is good for me, and I’m rambling again aren’t I?”

She laughed as she finished tying her shoes. “Yes, but if it makes you feel any better, I think it’s cute.” Then she walked over to you and kissed your cheek, and your heart just, fucking exploded.

“Well, I’m ready if you are.” She said.

You just nodded, since the rest of your motor functions couldn’t seem to do anything else at the moment.

She grabbed your hand gently in hers and walked with you to the elevator. Well, she walked. You stumbled. 

When the doors opened at the ground floor, you two walked out and started down the busy streets of New York.

For a good half hour, you two just walked and talked. Talking about nothing in particular, just telling each other things the other didn’t know about. At one point you both just started telling funny jokes back and forth. 

When you had reached Central Park, you sat down on one of the many benches and just looked out at the rest of the people going about their lives.

“Have you ever skipped rocks in a pond before?” She asked you after several minutes of silence.

“Um, no? I don’t really even know what that is.”

“It’s really easy, come on I’ll show you.” She pulled you up by your hand and led you over to the pond that had been in front of you guys.

“Okay, so let’s start by finding as many smooth, flat rocks as you can.” She said.

You did as she told you and searched along the bank.

When you had found about ten of them you walked back over to Nat.

“Will these do?” You asked.

“Yes! Those are perfect.” She smiled at you excitedly. And you couldn’t help but think about how adorable this soft side of her was.

She led you over to the edge of the water, grabbed hold of one of the rocks, and cocked her arm back.

“Watch this.” She said, smiling wide.

Then she expertly tossed it, and it skated across the water. Creating three ripples as it hopped. 

Your mouth dropped open in amazement, you had never seen this before.

“How does it do that?” You asked.

“Stark would tell you some long, science-y answer, but I have no idea. It’s just really fun, you wanna try? I’ll show you how.”

You nodded, and she brought you over to stand close to her. Your heart did that weird stutter thing again at the proximity.

She placed one of the rocks in your hand and folded your fingers over it the correct way.

“Okay, now just toss it lightly with your hand sideways, don’t throw it too hard though or it’ll sink.”

You did as she directed, and your rock skipped twice before sinking on the third.

You smiled wide and jumped up a little.

“Nat! I did it!”

“I see. It’s fun right?” She chuckled.

“Yes, can we do it again?”

“Yeah, here.” She handed you another rock, and readied one of her own.

You skipped both of your rocks, hers went four this time while yours still only went two.

You both did this again and again, having made a competition out of it. When you ran out of rocks, she asked you if you wanted to take another walk through the city. You agreed, and at noon you stopped somewhere to eat. 

After eating you both walked for some more. After a few minutes of having just walked in silence, you figured that you were finally ready to tell her now.

You opened your mouth, and forced your next words past your clamped throat, “Hey, Nat?”

“Yeah?”

“Um... there’s actually a reason that I asked you to come with me today.”

“So it wasn’t for a nice day out?” She joked.

“No! I mean yes, I did want to spend today with you, but there’s also another reason.”

“Okay, well you know that you can tell me anything.” She said, more serious this time.

‘I wouldn’t be so sure.’ You thought.

“Well, you see, I’ve been meaning to tell you something lately, but I didn’t really know how to bring it up.”

She waited for you to continue. You took a deep breath, and planned your next words carefully.

“Okay, here goes I guess. I think I have feelings for someone.”

“Really? (Y/N), that’s awesome! Who’s this lucky person?”

‘Remember, honesty all the way through. Tell her exactly how you feel.’ You coached yourself in your head.

“Well, it’s a girl, for one. She just, she makes me so happy. Everything she does, everything she is, is just perfect. Her smile, her laugh, her eyes. Just everything. She could be doing nothing at all and yet she’s still the most interesting person to me. She could be dressed in nothing but pajamas and have the worst bed-head ever seen but she’s still the most beautiful thing to look at to me. Every little thing about her makes me smile. When she laughs it’s like the entire world around me freezes, when she smiles it’s like nothing in my body can function properly, and when she looks at me it’s like nothing else will ever matter. It’s confusing how one person has so much influence over me, but I wouldn’t want to think about anyone else this way. She’s the only one I ever see. And it’s mostly what keeps me alive, but it’s also what kills me because I haven’t ever had the courage to tell her. Now, it’s the scariest fucking thing in the world to me because I’m worried about what she’ll say.”

You had both stopped walking now and were standing on the sidewalk, only a minute’s walk to the tower.

“Oh my God, (Y/N). That’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard. You really do like this girl don’t you?” She asked softly.

“You have no idea.” You said, tears starting to gather in your eyes. But you refused to cry now, you had to see this through.

“Well, why don’t you just tell her all of that?”

“I just did.”

And that’s when all of your blood froze in your veins. There it was, you had said it. You had finally admitted to the girl you liked that you had feelings for her. And you were sure that this was the single most terrifying moment in your life.

She stared at you for only a moment, before she opened her mouth, then closed it again. 

The tears were trembling at the edges of your eyelids, begging to fall. You wouldn’t let them, not until you got your answer.

She blinked, then opened her mouth again.

“What do you mean, that you just told her? Do you mean... me?”

You couldn’t speak, the raw fear keeping you from saying anything. So you only nodded.

When all she did for several long, moments was just stand there, you finally let the tears fall and turned away. Sure that you had gotten your answer, and that she didn’t feel the same. 

Before you could take more than one step, you felt a tug on your hand. 

You turned back to her, copious tears tracking down your red cheeks.

She stared at you, her eyes roaming all over your face, as if she was trying to memorize every feature.

Then she looked you in the eyes, and smiled sadly when she saw that you were crying. She raised her hand and cupped your cheek, brushing your tears away with her thumb. Her other hand was gripping yours so tightmy you were sure it would break, but you didn’t dare pull it away. You wanted this feeling to last for as long as she let it.

Then she did something that you did not expect at all. She opened her mouth to say something again, then shook her head and said, “Fuck it.” 

Then her head rushed towards yours and her lips collided with your own. 

You could have died right there and been the happiest person in the fucking world. It was like everything around you was in slow motion, like it was stopping just so you could have this moment. For a long moment you couldn’t respond, your brain refusing to fire your synapses, until it finally kicked itself into high gear, and moved your lips along hers. You were positive you weren’t even in control anymore, just watching from outside of your body as you kissed the woman of your dreams. 

Your body snapped back into itself quickly though, and you kissed her back with urgency. The world seeming to speed back up instantly. 

Your lips moved together in tandem, softly, slowly. Each of you mapping out the other, trying to remember and file away every new sensation. Her lips were softer than anything you had ever felt in your life, and they made you want to freeze this moment forever. It was everything you dreamed it’d be and more, but sadly you still needed to breathe. 

When you both pulled away, panting heavily, you realized that at some point you had wrapped your arms around her neck, and she had wrapped hers around your waist. She felt warm, and her body fit perfectly pressed up against your own.

You leaned your forehead against hers, savoring the moment for a little while longer.

Until you said, “So I guess this means you feel the same, huh?” 

She just laughed whole heartedly, pulling you closer and hugging you tightly in a comforting embrace.

“Shut up, (Y/N).” She said, her voice muffled in your neck.

You giggled along with her, your body feeling a million times lighter than it had ever been. 

“You wanna head back to the tower now?” You asked after a moment.

“Not yet.” She said, still hugging you tightly.

You were glad, because you weren’t ready for this moment to end either.

When you finally pulled apart after what felt like hours but was probably just minutes, she took your hand in hers again and walked you both back to the tower. 

On the elevator ride back up to the bedrooms, you leaned against Natasha, just because you wanted to be closer to her. She reciprocated by leaning her head against yours.

When you were both back at her door, she turned around to face you.

“How does your Saturday look?” She asked.

“This Saturday?”

“Yeah.”

“Pretty clear, I mean I don’t really have anything planned.”

“Good. I’ll be picking you up at 8pm.”

Your heart skipped a little.

“You mean like a date?”

“You heard me.”

“Um, yes, I would love that. Where would you be taking me on this date?” You asked.

“That is for me to know, and for you to find out. On Saturday, at 8. Don’t forget.”

“Oh trust me, it’s all I’ll be able to think about.” You said honestly, and she chuckled.

“So smooth.” She joked at you.

“Shut up.”

She only smiled and leaned in for another kiss, both of you smiling into it.

“FUCKING FINALLY!”

You both snapped away from the kiss to see Sam at the other end of the hall.

“You had me worried there, Nat. I thought you were just gonna pine over her forever. Bucky owes me twenty bucks, he thought you weren’t gonna do anything for another week.” He said with a shit-eating grin. 

Nat turned back to you and you smiled at her.

“Aww, you were pining for me?” You asked teasingly.

She lightly slapped your shoulder and rolled her eyes, Sam momentarily forgotten as she leaned in to kiss you again. 

Before your lips could touch, Sam started talking, an annoying habit of his.

“Ew, gross! No PDA in the halls!”

Natasha glared at him and turned to you briefly. 

“Excuse me while I go kill him. Don’t forget, Saturday at 8.”

“Saturday at 8. I’ll be looking forward to it.”

She smiled at your response then turned in Sam’s direction, murder in her eyes.

“OH SHIT!” He turned tail and started running in the opposite direction as Natasha was hot on his heels.

You smiled, and went to Wanda’s room to tell her what happened. As you waited on her to answer you found yourself getting more and more excited. You couldn’t wait for the weekend.


	14. Shovel Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty short chapter, just reader and Wanda freaking over your date☺️

You burst through Wanda’s door a second time that day, closing it and unceremoniously flopping down on her bed.

“Is this whole ‘bursting in with no warning’ going to become a habit of yours?” She asked you sarcastically, having been sitting on her bed reading a book when you’d intruded.

“Wanda, I think my heart might explode.” You said dreamily, bypassing her question.

She smiled and set her book to the side after marking her place.

“I take it the confession went well?”

“Uh huh.” You replied, just as dreamily as before. You were honestly still star-struck at the kiss she’d given you.

She chuckled at your silly behavior.

“I’m so happy for you, sestra! I know that took a lot of heart for you to tell her.”

You kicked your shoes off before abruptly sitting straight and facing her on her bed, your legs crossed neatly.

“Oh my God, Wanda, I was so terrified when I finally told her! I was almost afraid I wouldn’t even be able to speak.”

“Okay, okay, tell me everything!”

You launched into your story excitedly, recalling every detail of the morning you’d spent with Natasha. Smiling like a fool the whole time you spoke. When you finally got to the part where you’d told her you liked her, Wanda cut in.

“Oh God, that’s beautiful (Y/N), what’d she say when you told her?”

“Well, she didn’t say anything for a moment, she was just kind of looking at me. Like she was thinking really hard about something.”

“Oh I don’t think I could’ve taken the pressure.” She said.

“Yeah, after a while of not getting an answer, I just assumed that meant that she didn’t like me back, and I turned to leave.”

“Aw, (Y/N)...” 

“I know. But she stopped me before I could take more than two steps. There was a long moment where we both just stood there, looking at each other, like we were seeing each other for the first time. Then, she kissed me.”

Wanda made a sound that could only really be identified as a squeal, then she hugged you.

“Awww, (Y/N)! This is great! I’m so happy for you!” She pulled back and squeezed both of your shoulders as you blushed a deep red.

“Thanks, Wan. Anyway, we went back to the tower afterward and when I got to her door she asked me out on a date. Then Sam interrupted, idiot.”

“Fucking Sam. But that’s so good that you got a date! When is it? What time? Details, details!”

“The date’s on Saturday at 8pm. She wouldn’t tell me where we’re going, she wanted to keep it a surprise.”

“That’s awesome! Do you want any help getting ready when the time comes?”

“Duh, always.”

“Good. I’ve got your back, you know what this means, right? Now that you have a date?”

“Umm, no?”

“It means I get to give Nat the ‘shovel talk’. Otherwise known as the ‘hurt her and I’ll kill you’ speech.” She smiled.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“Tradition dictates that I do. You wouldn’t want to disrupt tradition, would you?”

You lightly shoved her shoulder. “Whatever.”

“Hey, it goes for you as well. You might be my sister but Nat’s also my friend. You hurt her and I’ll have to knock some sense into you.”

“Point taken.” You chuckled, holding your hands up in a mock gesture of surrender.

You sighed after a second.

“What’s up?” Wanda asked.

“Hm? Nothing, just... I’m really happy right now.” You smiled at her.

“Of course you are, I was too, when I went on my first date with Vis.”

“You know, I’ve heard you mention him before, but you never really told me much about him. Would you?”

She looked down sadly for a moment, before sighing deeply.

“I suppose I can. It’s just been hard for me since he died.”

“I’m sorry, you don’t have to.”

“No, it’s okay, I want to. Vision... he was unlike anyone else I’d met. Didn’t really understand social normalities, being an AI brought to life and all, so I’d volunteered to teach him. From there, our relationship just grew, I guess. He told me one day that he had ‘grown to think about me in a romantic way’. His exact words.” She paused to chuckle bitter sweetly at the memory.

“And I told him I felt the same. I taught him about life, and love. And for a long time there was nothing either of us wouldn’t do for the other. It wasn’t perfect, but it was home.” She said that word with such reverence, such feeling, that your heart couldn’t help but ache with her.

She turned to you then, and looked deeply into your eyes. 

“Never let that feeling go, when you find it, okay? Promise me. Promise me that if you find that with Natasha that you’ll fight for it with whatever you have.”

You nodded, and this time, you were the one that pulled her into the hug. 

You both stayed like that for a long time. Before she finally pulled away with a deep breath and a smile.

“Well! Everyone knows that the only way to properly prepare for a date is to go buy a new outfit. So, buckle up, cause you’re gonna be in for a ride.” She said, pulling you up with her to take you shopping.

You didn’t stop smiling once for the entire day.


	15. First Date

The next two days went by faster than you’d expected. You and Wanda had dedicated an entire day just to shopping for the perfect outfit. She’d suggested that you go with something casual, but still nice enough that it could pull off something formal. So you’d gone with a black dress that went just below your knees, a jean jacket, and some black flats.

When it was only two hours until your date, Wanda dragged you both to her room and helped you get your hair and makeup done. 

Your hair was done up in simple curls, and for your makeup you had some foundation and mascara. You figured that you shouldn’t go too fancy, since you still didn’t know what you were doing or where you were going.

While you were getting ready, you talked to Wanda.

“Oh God, I’m so nervous! I’ve never been on a date before.”

“You have no need to be nervous, (Y/N). You look beautiful, and Natasha may be strong-willed but she has a soft side reserved just for you, she’ll take good care of you I’m sure of it. You’ll be fine.” She told you lovingly.

You took a deep, relaxing breath. “Yeah, you’re right. I mean I’m worrying over nothing. Tonight is going to go great!” You said enthusiastically, pushing your nerves down.

“Exactly. Just relax, trust yourself, trust Natasha, and everything will be alright.”

You nodded, your nervousness set aside for now.

You finished up the final touches on your makeup and checked the time. It was already 7:45. You had fifteen minutes before your first ever date.

You took another deep breath, pushing all the nerves out that you could with it.

“Okay, I think I’m ready.” You said.

“Of course you are. Now remember, have fun, relax, and be sure to tell me every detail as soon as you get back.” 

You laughed. “I will, don’t worry. Thank you so much, Wanda. I’m so glad to have you in my life, you’re my favorite sister.”

“Damn right, I’m also your only sister though.”

“That’s beside the point.”

You both shared a long hug, when you heard a knock at her door. 

You pulled away, and Wanda gave you a thumbs up. You smiled back, and walked over to open the door.

When you did, you were sure that if it could have, your jaw would be touching the floor right now.

Natasha was drop-dead gorgeous on a normal day, but now she looked heavenly. Like a literal angel.

Her hair was curled like yours, she was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, boots, and a white dress shirt. Her makeup was done with foundation and simple contour, along with mascara like yours.

It was so simple, but on her it looked model-worthy. You could almost see a halo of light surrounding her, but you were sure that was just your imagination.

“You look beautiful.” She said.

Your heart nearly stopped in your chest at the way she was looking at you.

“Thanks, you look amazing as well.” You said back.

“Thank you, are you ready to go?”

“Yeah. Do I get to know where we’re going now?”

She raised one eyebrow at you. “Nice try, but no. It’s a surprise.”

She led you out of the tower in one of the cars from the garage. You both drove for only maybe twenty minutes. Until she parallel parked somewhere in the middle of the city. 

Once you were both out of the car, her insisting on opening your door for you while you blushed and smiled, she took your hand and led you further into the city.

“So I know that you’re still new to a lot of the things that this world has to offer. So I figured that tonight should be a night that I show you something that I’m pretty sure you’ll like.” 

She walked you around a corner, where there were cars parked on one side of the road, and horse-drawn carriages on the other. 

She led you up to a white one with two horses in the front, and handed some money to the man driving it. The man winked at you when he saw that you were holding hands.

“Climb on aboard, dear.” He said kindly to you.

Once you were both in the carriage you made sure not to sit too close, it only being a first date and all, and the man started the carriage forward.

“Is this okay?” She asked you.

“Natasha, it’s wonderful, thank you so much.”

She smiled dazzlingly at you, and squeezed your hand just a little tighter.

The carriage went on through a couple of blocks, showing you some of the sights that this part of the city had to offer, before ending the tour.

“It was a pleasure having you girls, take care.” He said with a warm smile.

“Thank you, sir.” Natasha said. 

You both stepped away from the carriage and headed toward the sidewalk.

“Thank you for that, Nat.”

“Oh the night’s not over yet, we still have a few more stops to make.” She replied with an excited smile. 

She pulled you along with her, both of you giggling like schoolgirls as you ran through the busy sidewalks. Until Natasha stopped at a brightly lit store. 

She looked to you with sparkling eyes. “Come on, you’ll love this!”

She took you inside and you found almost hundreds of large metal stands with screens on them. 

“What are those?” You asked.

“Those, are arcade machines. They’re like the video games that Sam and Bucky are always fighting over. Come on! I’ll show you!” 

She took you to stand at one of them after exchanging several dollars for a bunch of quarters. 

“So, how do you play?” You asked.

“Well first, you insert a quarter, then you press start.” She explained while showing you how to do it. 

The screen lit up and you could see what looked like a little spaceship and a couple of other spaceships coming towards it.

“Now this is Galaga, and that’s your ship.” She pointed to the one at the bottom. “Your objective is to dodge the aliens and also shoot them for points. You have to try and get as many points as you can.”

She played for a while, apparently having done this before. While she played, you caught on quickly and started cheering her on. Eventually, her ship was destroyed and it was game over. 

“Do you wanna try one?” She asked.

You looked around, and found some machines lined up in the back that looked pretty interesting to you. You read the sign above and it read ‘skeeball’ in big bubble letters.

You pointed to them and looked back at Natasha questioningly.

“Skee-ball, huh? Alright. Just know that you’re going down.” She said with a smirk.

“Oh, it’s on.”

You ran ahead and she followed behind quickly. After she had inserted the correct amount of quarters, the balls fell down for you to throw. 

Natasha picked one up and you did the same. 

“This one is pretty easy, it’s all about aim.” She explained.

You had pretty good aim, what with being trained to use several types of guns by the time you were twelve. So you felt pretty confident at being able to play this game.

Natasha lined up her shot, then tossed the ball down the lane. It landed in the 20 thousand point slot. Which was the third tier. 

You applauded her shot, and she did a mock bow.

“Alright, your turn.”

You walked up and eyed your shot. You took a slow, deep breath in. Held it for two, and upon letting it out you expertly tossed your ball. 

Landing it perfectly in one of the 100 thousand point holes in the left corner of the board. 

She whistled low, and you copied her bow from before.

“I’m afraid I seriously misjudged your aim.” She said.

“And now you’ll pay the price for it.” You said mockingly to her.

You won the game, obviously. But that wasn’t really your primary focus. Your main focus was on Nat. How she would laugh or clap or bow every time you made an awesome shot. How the more games you played, the more she made you loosen up. 

You don’t even know what you were worried about before. This was honestly the most fun you’d had in years. 

After about the fiftieth game that night, you both walked out of the arcade laughing and smiling hugely. 

“Oh my God, that little kid’s face when you made that shot in skee-ball!” She said.

“Me? What about when you made twenty shots in a row on that basketball game! Everyone around you couldn’t stop staring!” You laughed. 

“Oh that was hilarious! I thought for a minute I’d have to help pick their jaws up off the floor!”

You both laughed merrily. Walking down the sidewalk with your arms looped together, holding each other close.

When your laughter died down and you noticed the proximity, you nervously began to pull away. She just clutched your arm tighter, smiling down at you. Letting you know that it was okay. You relaxed further into her as you continued walking.

“Okay, so the last stop is for dinner, and I figured we could do something simple. As long as that’s okay with you, of course!” She remedied quickly.

“That sounds great to me, as long as it’s with you.” You smiled, and you felt her relax once more as she led you further down the walk.

When you reached the small, cute looking diner, you looked up at what it was called. ‘Mike’s diner.’ You wondered if she’d been here before.

She led you inside and immediately the smell of warm, delicious food hit you and your mouth watered. You hoped it tasted as good as it smelled.

She took your jacket for you, then sat you both down in a booth by one of the windows.

“You really do look beautiful tonight.” She complimented you.

“Thank you, you do too.” You smiled at her.

A waiter came by and took your drink orders, then gave you both menus to look over.

“So, what sounds good to you? Have you been here before?” You asked.

“Oh, yeah. I go here with Clint whenever he’s here, it’s my favorite in the whole city. Personally I recommend their cheeseburgers. Excellent.” She replied. 

You nodded and decided to take her advice on that. After all, you did find out that you liked cheeseburgers not too long ago, so why not give these a try?

When both of your burgers got there, she waited for you to take a bite, wanting to see your reaction.You indulged her, and took a generous bite out of your burger. 

Your eyes closed and you let out an appreciative moan.

“Good, huh? What’d I tell you?” She said, excited that you seemed to like it.

“This is the best burger I’ve ever eaten. We need to come here on more dates.” You hadn’t realized what you’d suggested.

“You... want there to be more dates?” She asked tentatively.

You swallowed your bite, and looked straight into her deep pools of green.

“Of course I do. There’s nothing I’ve wanted more, since I met you I’m pretty sure. Do you, want more dates?”

She looked at you for a minute, then a wide smile started to spread on her face.

“I think I’d like that very much.” She said.

“Good. Thank you for taking me on this one. I’m having a lot of fun.” 

“Me too.”

Then you both returned to your meals, making conversation throughout. Until she asked if you were ready to go home. You weren’t really, you wished you could stay out here with her forever, but you nodded anyway. 

She gave you your jacket back and helped you put it on before walking you back to the car.

When you had both returned to the tower, she walked you back to your room, holding your hand the entire way. 

When you reached your door, you turned to her.

“Thank you again, that was the most fun I’ve had in forever.” You said.

“Thank you for agreeing to go with me. We should definitely do this again, and soon.”

You giggled.

“Well, I guess I should say goodnight.” She said.

“Yeah. Guess so.”

But she didn’t, you both just stood there. Looking into each other’s eyes. 

Then her hand came up and softly cupped your cheek. You leaned into the warmth, and she leaned in to touch your lips with hers.

You both kissed each other softly, sweetly. Until she pulled back, much too soon, her hand still on your cheek.

“Goodnight, (Y/N).” She whispered softly.

“Night, Nat.” You respond in the same tone.

When you both finally broke away and you went into your room, there’s a moment where you can only touch your fingertips to your still tingling lips. Remembering the feeling of her kiss. You definitely needed to do that more.


	16. Time Goes By

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time skip, gonna try and propel the plot more from here. Nothing angsty in this chapter, but expect it to get a little hot and heavy in future chapters

Things were going great. You had an awesome new family, a sister who would do anything for you, and a girlfriend who’s been by your side since day one.

It had been two months since your first date with Natasha, and you two were still going strong. She had been the one to ask if you wanted to make it official, and you couldn’t have been more enthusiastic about your answer if you tried. Obviously you said yes, how could you not? Nat was amazing. She continued to help you with your training when Carol left, and you could honestly say that because of her you were a total badass. 

You’d been able to knock her down multiple times in the past few weeks, while also keeping excellent control on your powers. Fury had even decided that you were finally ready for your first ever mission with the team as an Avenger. You couldn’t have been more thrilled. Natasha expressed her worry about it to you, afraid that you might get hurt. You reassured her that you were ready for this, and that you had a whole team backing you, including her.

“Babe, with all these badasses by my side, nothing could go wrong. I know you’ll protect me and that I’ll do the same for you.”

That seemed to calm her nerves a bit, though you could tell she still wasn’t completely on board with it. You couldn’t really blame her, hell even you got worried whenever she went on a mission, and she’d been on tons of them before. 

You were determined to get through this well, and prove that you could do it. On top of that, you were excited. This would be the first time you’d get to bond with everybody as a team, and finally feel like you’d learned your place in the world, after being told for so long that you didn’t have one. So, yeah, things couldn’t be better.

But why then, did it also feel like this was just the calm before the storm? You didn’t know why you felt this way, like things were about to take a sudden turn, and life was about to throw you a curveball. 

You were too caught up in being excited to really dwell on that for long though.

“Hey, (Y/N), cap told me to tell you we got wheels up in 15 minutes.” Sam said, poking his head in your room. 

You nodded, and went to your closet to pull out the suit Tony had made for you. It was sleek, and it looked almost identical to Natasha’s except for the fact that your suit had purple trim, while hers had blue. Your hero name had been a little tricky, but you finally decided on Black Swan. As a way to remember all that you’d been through, and all that you’d overcome. The red room, Hydra, all of the abuse. You had gotten through it all, and come out on the other side as a better person. 

When you put the suit on, you felt different. You felt good, like a hero. You put on the knee high combat boots that went with it and made your way to the quinjet. When you stepped on, you were met with looks of approval.

“Damn girl, that suit fits you well.” Sam said.

“Yeah, welcome to the team (Y/N).” Bucky smiled at you. You thanked him. 

“You’re welcome by the way.” Tony smirked. You rolled your eyes at him, and when the team had finished praising your new suit, you took a seat beside Nat.

She leaned over and whispered in your ear. “That suit is incredibly hot on you, by the way.” 

You blushed at the smirk she was giving you, and playfully slapped her arm.

“Down girl, can’t get all riled up now. We still have a mission to do first.” You scolded with a smirk of your own.

“You never let me have any fun.” She pouted.

“Aw, you poor baby. Want me to kiss it better?”

She nodded, still fake pouting. You rolled your eyes, but obliged her, and softly pecked her on the lips.

“Better now?” You asked teasingly.

“Slightly.” 

“Ugh, you’re insatiable.”

“Eh, you still love me.” She paused after she realized what she’d said. Even though it had been two months, you two hadn’t said those words to each other yet. 

Given both of your pasts, you weren’t the type to just throw that word around. You both knew that when one of you finally did say it, that it would mean so much more. 

Which is why it surprised you so much when she said it, well not really said it, more like insinuated it. But that was beside the point. It had still come out. 

Did you love her back? ‘With everything.’ Your brain immediately answered for you. Well, you should probably say something. You’ve both just been kind of staring at each other, you needed to break the silence.

“I do.” You whispered.

“What?”

“I love you, Nat.”

She looked at you a moment more, her eyes shining a little. Before she smiled hugely.

“I love you too.”

You both shared another kiss, this one much longer and way more passionate. The jet and your surroundings fading away until there was nothing but you and Natasha.

A clearing of a throat brought both of you out of your moment.

“While this is nice and all, I’d really rather not see it.” Tony snarked at both of you.

Natasha was the one who blushed this time, while you just gave him the finger, never once tearing your eyes away from her.

“Oh come on, Tony. Leave ‘em alone. They’re gross and in love, you’ll be seeing a lot worse than that in times to come I assure you.” Clint chuckled.

This time Natasha was the one to give him the finger.

The rest of the team started cracking jokes about you both then, but at least their eyes weren’t on you anymore. Nat turned to you.

“You really mean it, right?” She asked.

“Of course. With everything I’ve got.”

She smiled that dazzling smile again. The one that lit up entire universes, or at least, it lit up yours. Then she gave you one more, soft, loving kiss. You melted into it. 

When she pulled away, she held your hand tightly. You did the same. 

For the rest of the jet ride to the mission, you couldn’t help but think about how unbelievably happy you were at that moment. And how it was almost like nothing could cut through your dreamy mood.

Yeah, with her by your side, you could take over the world.


	17. The Calm Before

After the jet had landed, Steve went through what you were all supposed to do before you got off.

“Alright, so Clint, Sam, and Natasha will go in and wipe Hydra’s servers, grabbing as much information as they can while taking out any agents that get in their way.”

The three nodded.

“I want Tony to fly up and take out any outside defenses they may have, (Y/N) will provide cover with me and take out everyone on the ground outside. If possible, please refrain from dying. Everybody got it?”

You all nodded in affirmative, and he opened the doors.

“Okay, me, Tony, and (Y/N) will provide a distraction so you three can get inside. Everyone stay on comms.” Steve ordered.

“You got it, capsicle.” Tony said.

Sam, Natasha, and Clint all waited behind while the three of you went ahead.

Tony immediately went into the air and took out an artillery defense to your left. That alerted the base and then the fight was on. It wasn’t long until you and Steve were quickly barraged with many Hydra agents.

You didn’t stay together long, having split up to take more down. 

You were holding your own very well. Every agent you fought going down with only a few well placed punches and kicks. You hadn’t even had to use your strength for most of them. 

You heard Steve struggling on the comms and turned in his direction. He was fighting a rather big man, at least twice his size. He wasn’t in any real trouble with that though, the huge agent was clumsy, and his hits were very uncoordinated. No, the problem was that while Steve was fighting, a stray agent was creeping up behind him to try and take him out.

“Cap! Behind you!” You shouted into the comm. 

He couldn’t turn his focus off of the man he was fighting or it would catch him off guard. You knew this, too. If you ran there was no guarantee you would make it there in time.

But you had to try. Putting all the strength you could into your legs, you pushed... and found yourself flying through the air.

Landing in front of the sneaky agent you had to stuff down your shock quickly and incapacitate him. You gave him one, hard punch to the side of his head, and he crumpled to the ground. 

Then you helped Steve finish off the guy he was still fighting. When he was down, Steve turned to you.

“What was that? You just flew through the air!” He asked, shocked.

“Yeah, that definitely happened. I guess I put a little more strength in my legs than I intended.”

“So you can just super jump now?”

“I guess so.”

“That’s honestly pretty badass.”

Your mouth gaped in mock shock at his words.

“You kiss your mother with that mouth, Rogers?” You smirked at him, turning and punching another agent that had come too close and sending him across the field.

“Ugh, who told you about that?”

“Stark.”

“I’m gonna kill him.” 

You chuckled and turned back to the battle.

“While this was a nice chat, we do still have a fight to win.” You smirked, before heading back into the fray.

After many punches, and many agents thrown every which way, Sam went on the comms and told everybody they had the data and that it was time to abandon ship. You did as told, and ran back to the quinjet after taking down the last guy.

“Also, we found one of the scientists here that was apparently working on illegal human experimentation. Thought you’d might want to interrogate him since there was nothing on their servers about it.” Clint said. You could see them in the distance, as you stepped onto the jet, taking your seat.

“Good, we’ll talk to Fury about him during the debrief. Were there any prisoners?” Steve asked.

“No, thank God.” Sam answered.

“Alright, when you get back to the ship I want him restrained. No one is to take their eyes off this man until we get back to base. Understood?” There were sounds of affirmative over the comms as everyone answered.

You leaned back in your seat and took a deep breath in. Steve came over to sit next to you while Tony got the jet ready to fly.

“You did good today, (Y/N). Especially for your first mission.” He complimented you.

“Thanks, cap. I know we were only out there for less than an hour, but I think I’m ready to sleep for the rest of my life.” You chuckled.

“Yeah, the adrenaline of being in a real fight will do that to you. Much different than training.”

“Yeah, I’m just glad it went well.”

You stopped when you heard the others coming near the jet. You went to go meet your girlfriend, and froze.

Terror slithered down every single inch of your body and your muscles were wracked with tremors. Everything was entirely rooted to the spot you were standing in in raw fear. Your blood turned to ice in your veins, and your face went a shade of ghost white. You felt as if you could throw up. And you wanted so desperately to run, run as far away as humanly possible. 

Because restrained in Sam and Clint’s arms, was the doctor who had tortured you for years.

Upon seeing you, he smiled that evil smile that held no emotion whatsoever. The smile that was the subject of most of your nightmares. The smile that you had prayed you’d never see again.

And you screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know! Cliffhanger, but do not fret because justice is coming!


	18. The Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dude even I couldn’t wait, so here’s another chapter
> 
> Krasivaya: beautiful
> 
> TW: panic attack

It was bloodcurdling, the sound that came out of your mouth. Like every single nightmarish memory you’d ever had bundled up in a sound. 

No. He could NOT be here. He just couldn’t. The base was destroyed, he was supposed to be dead. No, no no no no no.

You were spiraling, and quickly. You could vaguely make out the sounds of your team trying to calm you down. But your focus wasn’t on them, it was on the man still restrained in Sam’s arms. He was still smiling at you, enjoying your pain. 

Out of all of the doctors who would experiment on you, he was the worst. It was like it was his mission to make every single treatment as painful as possible. And now he was back. Right in front of you. Bringing with him all of your worst memories and nightmares.

You were vaguely aware of the fact that you now couldn’t breathe. Your lungs basically useless as they collapsed. 

Then you we’re moving, past him, and out of the ship. You don’t know how that was happening, considering your legs were practically jell-o.

You fell to the ground a good ways away from the jet, and whoever had brought you outside caught you.

The whole world was dizzy, or maybe you were dizzy? It didn’t matter, the whole world was spinning like a roller coaster. Twisting and turning, bobbing forward and backward. It was making you sick, and you sort of remember crawling away quickly and emptying everything you had in your stomach. Black was starting to tinge the edges of your vision, and you still couldn’t breathe.

Whoever was with you had held your hair back gently, and then caught you when you started to sway dangerously.

The presence was warm, and they laid you against their front. You looked down and, through the hazy blur that was currently your vision, found that you were sitting between someone’s legs. 

They were calmly telling you to breathe. Their voice was really soothing to you, and you swear you’ve heard it before. You were too tired to try and remember where, so you just tried to focus on what it was saying instead. 

It was telling you to breathe. And then you realized that you had been hyperventilating, trying to get in enough air. 

You focused on the voice, it was soft like silk. Calming, like an ocean wave, lapping at the sand. 

As you listened to it speak to you in a soothing tone, your breathing became gradually slower. The world had stopped spinning too, which your stomach was especially grateful for. 

“There you go, just breathe, you’re okay. It’s alright I promise.” 

You knew that voice, you loved it too. You looked up and you could actually see who it belonged to now.

“N-Nat.” You got out. 

“That’s right, baby. I’m right here, I’ve got you.” She said as she held you a little tighter. 

She was leaning against a tree, and sitting on the ground. Your back was against her front, and her arms were trapping your own against your chest. You assumed to keep you from hurting yourself accidentally. 

“What h-happened?” You asked weakly.

“You had a panic attack baby, I took you away from the jet before it got bad though.” 

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Tears were working their way down your face.

“No, no, no, you don’t have to be sorry about anything, sweetheart. I’m just glad you’re calmed down a little now. Are you alright? Do you feel okay enough to tell me what happened?” She asked softly, her hands now gently holding yours.

“It was him, Nat. He was one of the doctors who tortured me at Hydra.” You cried, more tears tracking down your red cheeks.

You felt her tense behind you, and you turned a little so you could look at her properly. Her face was twisted in a hard scowl, and she was coldly glaring in the direction of the ship. You flinched slightly at the clear hate in her gaze, and she quickly turned back to you. Worry replacing the previous anger.

“Oh, krasivaya, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I’m so sorry you had to see him again.” She said sincerely, her hands moving up to cup your cheeks gently.

“I thought he was dead, he’s supposed to be dead.” 

“I know, baby. I thought he was, we destroyed the base.”

“Nat I don’t wanna go back there yet.”

“You don’t have to go back there until you’re ready, the team will understand. We will sit out here for as long as you like.” She told you, and your body visibly relaxed at that. 

“Can you just hold me, please?” You asked in a quiet voice.

“Of course, sweetheart, come here.”

She pulled you around so that she was cradling you sideways in her lap. Your head against her chest, her heartbeat lulling you into a feeling of calm. You wrapped your arms around her waist, and she wrapped hers around your shoulders.

For a long while you both just sat there, holding each other. Both of you content to just stay in the other’s warm embrace for as long as it took.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you lifted your head from her chest.

“I think I’m ready to go back now.” You said in a much stronger voice now.

“Are you sure baby? You know you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

“I’m sure. I’m still scared, but mostly, I’m just angry.”

She nodded, and you knew she understood.

And you were being completely honest. You WERE angry. Unbelievably so. You had every right to be too. He was the person responsible for every dark corner in your mind. He destroyed your life, your world, your self-worth.

Fuck that, and fuck him. 

You weren’t going to be scared of him anymore. You had a whole team behind you, a badass sister and an equally badass girlfriend. More importantly, you weren’t in a cage anymore. He was. 

“Actually, you know what? Fuck that. I’m not scared. Not of him, not anymore. I was scared before because I could never fight back, I was never strong enough. But now I can. And I am done letting him rule my fears. No more, never again.” You said with a surprising fire in your voice that you hadn’t known was there.

A smile spread itself across Natasha’s face.

“That’s the (Y/N) I know and love. You’ve grown so much in the short months since we found you. I’m so proud of you.”

You smiled back at her.

“I love you, Nat, so much.”

“I love you too, (Y/N).”

She leaned in and gave you a soft kiss, and you reciprocated just as gently.

When you pulled away, she asked you, “Are you ready to go back now?”

“Yeah. You said you were gonna interrogate him right?”

She nodded. 

“Then I wanna talk to him before you do.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. I need closure and I want him to know that he failed. He didn’t destroy me. No matter how hard he tried or how much pain he inflicted, he didn’t destroy ME. I’m still here and now, if anything, I’m stronger than ever. And I want to look him in the eye and watch his face fall as he realizes he’s failed.” You said resolutely.

“Damn you’re hot.”

You both laughed.

“But seriously, Nat.” 

“Yeah, no, I get it. I’ll see to it that you get it too. I don’t care what Fury says, you deserve that at least after everything you’ve been through.”

“Thank you. I love you.”

“You said that.”

“I don’t care, I’ll say it again and again for as long as you’ll let me.” 

“Well then I guess we’ll both be saying it for a very long time.” She said.

“I am so okay with that.” You said as you placed another kiss to her lips, this one more heated than the last. All of your emotion and feeling going into it, trying to convey exactly how much you loved her in just that one kiss.

She kissed back just as urgently, and after a moment the need to breathe arose, and you had to pull away. Breathing deeply, she pulled back to look at you.

“Now, let’s go get this bastard.”


	19. Oh, How the Tables Have Turned

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader has some shit to say, and gets her revenge. 
> 
> I got legitimately angry at a character I created. That’s how much of a bad guy this is.

As you strode back into the jet with Natasha, you saw him again. Only this time you weren’t scared. No, you would never give him that satisfaction again.

He was restrained on one of the seats, with Clint and Sam sitting on either side of him to make sure he wouldn’t try anything.

You took the seat right in front of him, calmly. He smirked at you, and you had to use all of the red room training you remembered to school your features and push your anger down.

“Well, if it isn’t the pathetic science experiment. How will you waste my time today? I’m sure you have plenty to say.” He mocked you in a condescending tone.

Clint started to open his mouth, presumably to tell him to shut up, but you held up your hand. He shut his mouth again, allowing you to handle it.

You didn’t answer his question, only stared at him with a look of indifference. That idiotic smirk widened on his face.

“Ah, I see. We’ve gone with the silent treatment. Good choice, it seems you’ve finally learned your place.”

Again, you did not give him what he wanted. 

You continued to stare, even leaning back in your seat and crossing your arms. Pretending not to give a damn about a single thing coming out of his mouth.

Because that’s exactly what he wanted, he wanted you to care. Wanted you to react, on his terms. Even tied down and restrained, he was still trying to take control. You weren’t going to give it to him. You wanted to see how long it would take for him to crack. He always did have such a short temper, so it wouldn’t take long.

In fact, you could already see that it was starting to get to him.

“Hm. You think because I’m restrained I don’t still have control? I will always be in control of you, because you are weak.”

You could feel Natasha beside you, practically vibrating with anger.

You turned your attention away from him, pissing him off even more at your lack of attention.

You placed your hand on her shoulder, and she turned to you. You gave her a look, asking if she was okay without words. She gave an imperceptible nod, but you caught it and turned back to him.

He was getting angrier at your lack of attention on him and your lack of responses so far. What a pussy.

“You know, no matter how far you go, I will always be there. In your mind, in your dreams. I will always be there to haunt you. You can never escape that, you insignificant whelp.” He spat at you.

This time, you smirked at him. And if he wasn’t pissed off before he was now.

“You stupid, worthless, weakling! How dare you disrespect me in this way! I own you, and I can still hurt you.”

You got up and moved to stand in front of him while he continued to rant.

“You think you will ever be anything more than useless? Please. I made you what you are. I control everything, and you control nothing!” The nerve on this guy.

You leaned down to meet his level, looking him straight in the eyes. Still keeping up your air of indifference.

“You’re wrong. There is one thing I can control.” You snarked at him.

“And what exactly is that, you powerless slug?”

With that, you stood back up, and made like you were going to walk away. 

At the last second you wheeled around and served him a sharp, right hook to the nose.

The team had to hold in their obvious snorts and laughter. Eyeing you with praise.

“How badly I break your nose.” You answered him.

Sam couldn’t hold it in anymore and promptly toppled over in boisterous laughter.

The rest of the team settled for chuckles.

His nose was now profusely bleeding, and he was glaring at you.

You sat back down next to Natasha, who was covering her mouth in an attempt to muffle her laughter, her shoulders shaking with the effort. 

You turned to her.

“That was pretty easy. I even held back.” You smirked at her.

She then let out a very loud snort that turned to laughter at your nonchalance.

You laughed with her. 

When the jet finally landed, Fury was waiting for you all. When he saw the man’s bloodied nose, he raised an eyebrow.

“What happened to him?” He asked.

“Therapy.” You remarked. Causing the team to start chuckling again.

Fury didn’t say anything else, only nodding appreciatively at you and turning to walk inside.

You all followed him, and the confident smile didn’t move from your face once.


	20. Interrogation

When you got to the interrogation room they’d be using, they took him in and cuffed him to the table while the rest of the team went into the viewing room.

Before Fury could go in, you stopped him, Natasha right behind you.

“Wait, sir?”

He turned around to you.

“Yes, agent?”

“I want to speak to him before you start.” 

“As much as I wanna say I can’t let you do that, I know you definitely deserve to get a few words in. I can only give you five minutes, and if you even start to lose control I will have you out of there faster than you can blink. Understand?”

“Yes, sir. Thank you.” You said. He only nodded, then turned to go into the viewing room. 

You were then turned around and abruptly brought into a rough kiss, a noise of surprise coming from you before you melted into it.

When she pulled away, you chased her lips. She giggled at your reaction.

You snapped out of the daze she had you in, and looked up at her.

“Um, not that I didn’t love that, cause I totally did. But what was that for?” You asked. 

“For good luck. Go get ‘em babe.” She winked at you and turned to follow the rest of the team into the viewing room.

You wiped the smitten smile off of your face and schooled your features. Then you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath, and confidently walked into the interrogation room.

Upon sitting down, he looked up at you, and scowled.

“They sent you in here? What, did you come to gloat?” He spat.

‘Where’s that confidence now, doc?’ You thought.

“Hm, no. No one sent me in here. I just came to say a few things.”

He just continued to scowl at you.

“Mainly I just wanted to let you know that you failed, if you didn’t already know that.” You said.

“How dare you! Do you even know who I am?” He yelled.

Honestly what the hell kind of question was that? Of course you did, he’d only tortured you for most of your life. It took all of your red room training to keep your face neutral.

“Yes, I do, actually. You, are a failure. A man who couldn’t even control one girl, even with her hands tied. Because you know, doc, I’m free now. I’m the one with all the control now, not you. And I just wanted to tell you that no matter what you do, you cannot escape that. Every day you live will be a constant reminder that you failed to control me. Every breath you take will be air wasted on your worthless lungs. Every second you live will no longer matter. Because your whole life was wasted on trying to control mine. I won, despite everything you said, and everything you did. So I came in here just so I could be the first to tell you in person. You. Failed.” 

You stood up then, walked to the door, and placed your hand on the handle. Before you opened the door, you glanced back at him.

“So yeah, I guess one reason I came in here was to gloat.” You smirked, then turned to leave.

As you closed the door, you could still hear him screaming indignantly after you. ‘God, he’s like a moody teen. How was I ever afraid of him?’ You thought.

When you went into the viewing room with the rest of the team, they were all looking at you proudly. Natasha most of all. You smiled back at them and went to stand next to your girlfriend.

When the interrogation was over and cap debriefed Fury on the mission, you were beyond tired and in need of a nap.

Apparently Natasha seemed to share that sentiment, because as soon as you were all released to go, she grabbed your hand and pulled you along with her until you both reached her bedroom.

“Why are we at your room?” You asked.

“To sleep. I don’t know about you, but I’m beat and I want to hold my girlfriend.” She answered.

“You mean, we’d be sleeping in the same bed? Together?”

“Yep. Any objections against that?” 

“No, no. No objections.”

“Good. Now, I do have a question to ask you before we lay down.” 

“What is it?” You asked.

“Are you a big spoon, or a little spoon?”

You remember Sam teaching you what that term meant, and you giggled.

“Little.” You answered.

“Great, come on in.” She opened the door and led you in.

When you were both laid down, she pulled up the blankets to cover you both. Then she curled up as close to you as she could get and threw an arm around you, hugging you to her.

You relaxed, and began to doze off. 

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you too, Nat.” You smiled, and you both drifted off to sleep.


	21. Mornings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is where I’ve decided to end this story, but don’t worry I’ll still be writing plenty of other things. If you have any ideas let me know☺️

When you woke up your head was on Natasha’s chest, her arm around you and your legs tangled together.

You didn’t really feel like opening your eyes yet, so you settled back in and nuzzled your face deeper into her. 

She was apparently a very light sleeper because you felt her yawning under you as she woke up.

“You know I can tell when you’re awake, right?” She said after a moment.

“No you can’t.” You teased.

She chuckled. “Yes, I can. Plus you’re proving it by talking to me.”

“Maybe I sleep-talk. You don’t know.”

“Sleep talking and having coherent conversations are two totally different things.”

“Whatever.” You sighed dramatically.

She chuckled again.

After another moment, she spoke up again.

“You know, I really did mean it when I said that I was proud of you. You’ve come a long way from the girl I first met at Hydra.”

“Yeah, well I have all of you to thank for that. Mostly you and Wanda, though.”

“Are you kidding? You did all of this yourself, we just helped. (Y/N), you are a strong, beautiful, bad ass motherfucker. Within a few short months of being here you learned how to fight, how to control your powers, and how to live and make decisions on your own. You even got the courage to ask me out first, and you faced your lifelong tormentor head on without even blinking. He’s going to be locked up in a super max facility for the rest of his life. You had the shittiest of hands dealt to you in life that you can get, and you came out on the other side better than before. Honestly I think you’ve kinda set the bar for everyone here on how much of a badass you can be. I admire you more than anybody I’ve ever met, and I count my lucky stars every single day that I get to spend with you. Because you’re my world, and I love you so much.” 

When she finished you were crying, and she’d shed a few tears of her own. 

You surged up and captured her lips in a kiss. She fervently kissed back. You still loved the way her lips fit so perfectly against yours, as they tangled together with passion.

When you both pulled away, you stared deeply into the eyes you’d come to love so much.

“I love you so much, Nat. Thank you for finding me, and helping me find myself. Thank you for being my home.”

She smiled and kissed you again, this one longer and softer than the last.

When you pulled away a second time, she laid your head against her chest.

You snuggled back into her warmth, cuddling her tightly.

“You know at some point we do have to join the land of the living.” She said.

“I don’t care. They can wait cause I’m probably never leaving this bed again.” You said as you snuggled even more into her. She giggled.

“You’re so cuddly, it’s adorable.” 

“Hush, let’s go back to sleep.” You said.

“We can’t stay in bed all day.”

“If we call in sick we can. You’re a spy, I’m a spy, we’ve both been trained to be really good at acting. We could totally pull it off.”

“You know what? I think that’s an excellent idea.” 

“Knew you’d see it my way.” You smirked.

She lightly slapped your shoulder, chuckling.

You didn’t say another word as you both drifted back off into a deep sleep.

Listening to Natasha’s heartbeat to lull you, you couldn’t help but let a dreamy smile pull across your face. Never in a million years did you ever think you could or would be this happy. But she was right, despite everything life had thrown at you, you had persevered. And in the end, you had gotten a wonderful family, sister, and girlfriend out of it.

Yeah, this was home. And you couldn’t be happier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that’s it! But if you have requests for other things you want me to write just leave a comment on this story☺️ Thanks for sticking with the story, I had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you had a lot of fun reading it!

**Author's Note:**

> First multi-chapter fic ever! I will try to post as regularly as I can manage. But this will get finished I promise!
> 
> P.s. so sorry about the fight scene, it was the first I’ve ever written😬


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